“You can be the most beautiful person in the world and everybody sees light and rainbows when they look at you, but if you yourself don’t know it, all of that doesn’t even matter. Every second that you spend on doubting your worth, every moment that you use to criticize yourself; is a second of your life wasted, is a moment of your life thrown away. It’s not like you have forever, so don’t waste any of your seconds, don’t throw even one of your moments away.”

― C. JoyBell C.

How many times have you looked at someone and thought, “They are so amazing!” I say this all of the time when I’m admiring someone, especially when they are willing to express themselves and be visible in our judgmental and critical world. It can be quite easy to see someone’s beauty, courage, strength and gifts.

But are you able to see the same in yourself?

In the past few weeks I’ve had several opportunities to witness all of the ways we as women shy away from owning our brilliance. Each time these instances arose in conversation or interaction I was struck by how easy it was for me to see how incredible they were, but for some reason I was the only one in the conversation who could see this undeniable truth.

There are so many amazing women in this world that, for what ever reason, can’t see how extraordinary they really are. This phenomenon came up so many times that I began to wonder, what’s really going on here? Why do we, as women, downplay our magnificence on such a regular basis?

Why do we hide our beauty, success, and accomplishments and instead highlight the things we haven’t completed, manifested and perfected? Why do we feel we should downplay our light, blend in, stay invisible and hide?

When something like this comes to my attention, I begin to ask questions, but I also turn those questions on myself. How am evading my brilliance? Where am I denying my achievements? What do others see in me that I can’t see in myself?

In a recent closed-door business retreat, I shared my own fears of being exposed as a fraud. Here I am, sharing my passion and expertise with the world through my online business. I’ve overcome so many fears and doubts and roadblocks to get to this point, and the momentum in my business is picking up.

But all I could think about was, “What will people think if they find out I used to have an eating disorder? What will they do if they discover my alcoholic past? What if they think I’m a total imposter because I’m out there talking about health and I have this less than perfect history? Who am I to put myself out there and claim I know anything?!? “

Like every woman I know, the road I’ve walked to get to where I am today hasn’t always been perfect or very pretty. It’s these “imperfect” chapters of my life that had me feeling that I had something to hide and even be ashamed of. But as I shared with the women in the room the challenges that I’ve overcome, I was surprised to look and see the expressions of awe and surprise on their faces.

They expressed their enormous respect for me because they could clearly see how very far I’ve come in my 39+ years of life. One woman even told me that she had made the assumption that I had life completely figured out, and that I was perfect. But after I opened up and shared more fully about my story, she could clearly see who I really am, the darkness that I’ve faced and overcome, and her respect for me grew to new heights.

Are we afraid of sharing our brilliance and light with others because we believe we are flawed and imperfect in other ways? Do we shy away from letting people bear witness to our humanity because we still judge ourselves for the not-so-pretty chapters we’ve lived along the way?

When I’ve felt brave enough to expose my vulnerable side and really let others see the moments in my life that have helped create the Alicia that is alive and thriving today, I’ve received incredible responses. And it’s in these moments of being completely transparent that I’ve been able to see myself through another person’s eyes.

These moments have been invaluable to me, because they have offered me glimpses into my own magnificence – the parts of myself that I have trouble seeing on my own. To see someone be in awe of little ol’ me, when all I can see in myself is flaw and imperfection and incompletion, is such a gift. I get to move beyond my self-criticism and into self-appreciation. And whenever I feel appreciation, I feel an equal amount of expansion and acceptance.

It’s in the state of expansion and acceptance that I slip effortlessly into the flow and grace of life, of God, and of the benevolent universe that is all around me. I get to recognize that everything, everysinglething I’ve experienced in my lifetime has served me, strengthened me, and made me into the perfect person for what I’m choosing to do with my life.

And couldn’t we all use this sort of encouragement and affirmation that we are doing exactly what we’re meant to do?

What if shining your light, sharing your humanity, and letting others really see you is the greatest gift you could offer them and yourself?

Would you share more of who you really are?