Like many women, I’ve had a tumultuous relationship with food. I grew up in a household where on-again-off-again dieting was a constant, and food was seen as the enemy. It’s not surprising that I adopted a very adversarial relationship with food, and wrestled with disordered eating for more than a decade.

In my mind, there were “good” foods that helped me reach my goals and create the body shape and size I wanted, and there were “bad” foods that could derail all of my best efforts. I created a very rigid relationship with food that, though well intentioned, took all of the joy and true nourishment out of eating for me.

I became very mechanical and inflexible about what and how I ate. I fixated on an end goal so much that I stopped listening to what my body was telling me it needed and wanted. And then when I just couldn’t stand the rules any longer, I binged on foods that were on the “naughty” list, which always left me feeling broken and deeply disappointed in myself.

In the end, my relationship with food reflected how I was relating to life itself.

I had very rigid ideas about how life should be lived, none of which nurtured enjoyment and pleasure. I strangled the life out of my life with my black and white thinking. There was no room for the ebb and flow of life.

I share all of this with you because it can be really easy to slip into rigid rules and roles when it comes to food, eating, health, and even life itself. We can get so caught up in the ‘good’ and ‘bad’ of things that we completely neglect our bodies, our needs, and our happiness in the process.

I’ve learned over the years that there really isn’t a “right” or “wrong” way to eat. Instead, there’s an ebb and flow, a natural rhythm and cycle to everything.

When it comes to eating, there will be a time for…

Cleansing
Rebuilding
Celebrating
Sustaining
Emoting
Learning
Healing
Death-ing
Fantasizing
Numbing
Scrambling
Surrendering…

… And so much more.

One of the keys to deeply nourishing and honoring yourself is learning to listen and respond to where you’re at and what you need – even if it doesn’t follow the “rules”.

In a world that constantly invites us to ignore, neglect and even abuse our bodies for the sake of productivity and achievement, choosing to listen to what you need and honor what you hear is a revolutionary act.

Instead of judging, restricting or punishing yourself for not eating perfectly or going of the diet du jour, what if you could see that eating is a reflection of the ebb and flow of life itself? You are exactly where you need to be. And even if you’re not happy with where you are, how you’re eating, or the results your food choices are creating for you, just know that what you really want is only a choice away.

As life flows, so too will you and your relationship with food.