So many women live in a steady state of deprive-starve-restrict-reject when it come to their relationship with pleasure.

 

This inevitably leads to an overwhelming and often uncontrollable reaction state of indulge-stuff-devour-reward-obsess because they’ve been keeping themselves in a perpetually hungry place.

 

The pendulum swings from one extreme to the other:

 

deprive <—> indulge

starve <—> stuff

restrict <—> reward

reject <—> obsess

deny <—> devour

 

Neither of these extremes feel good. Nor are they healthy.

 

Nor are they where true pleasure lives.

 

Fleeting pleasure feels good for a moment in time but does not sustain itself. It has to constantly be fed. It frequently has a not-so-feel-good downside to it – a consequence of some kind, a diminishing return, or even some kind of debt creation – as in we are now in debt because we chose that fleeting pleasure.

 

Fleeting pleasure lives in the places where we’ve had to prove we deserve the pleasure, and then work for our worthiness of it.

 

It thrives in the places where we just need to self-soothe or numb out to an intense feeling that we don’t want or don’t know how to deal with.

 

It is very often a place holder for the thing that we really want that is not yet here.

 

In contrast, true pleasure builds upon itself without a negative downside. And it stays in the realm of pleasure instead of veering off in the direction of pain. This is because true and lasting pleasure exists in the places, choices, and habits where we are honoring and loving ourselves.

 

True pleasure is very often something that takes time to plan and develop. It’s not a ‘quick fix’ kind of thing. It frequently requires us to make self-loving, self-honoring choices time and time again so that a new state of being is achieved. It’s not a rapid solution to the discomfort or pain we don’t want to feel.

 

What resonates with you here? How much true pleasure do you have in your life?

 

Where is fleeting pleasure acting as a substitute for what you really desire?

 

What are you willing to do to create more true pleasure in your life, starting today?