I woke up in the middle of the night and my mind was racing.

My fears were saying things like, “You can’t do that. You’ll never be successful. You’re going to fail.”

Then doubt chimed in with, “You don’t know enough. Do you really think you can pull that off? Isn’t that risky?”

It was 4am and I was shrinking into myself, wallowing in negativity, and feeling like I should give up, run away, and hide.

And then I saw this unwelcome middle-of-the-night visitor for what it was.

It was an old mindset paying me a visit. 

It was a former identity stopping by to remind me of who I used to be.

It was an outdated neural pathway fighting to stay alive.

It was a reminder of who I am (and who I’m not) today.

I remembered something so important about myself – I am a powerful creator, and I have choices.

I asked myself an important question that changed everything in an instant.

I asked, “What do I want?”

Immediately, my mind started to explore some very different inner terrain. 

Instead of chasing negative thoughts down the well-worn rabbit holes of my mind (fear, doubt, and worst-case scenarios), I let myself lean into new possibilities.

I spent time exploring my desires in my mind. 

I let my mind wander in the direction of some longstanding dreams.

I followed my imagination, I let it be playful, and I meandered in the direction of my joy.

I played out several best-case scenarios and marinated in the expansive feelings of gratification and happiness.

I let myself explore a very different mental and emotional landscape, and I fell back asleep feeling excited and empowered.

If you were to take a guess, how much time do you spend ruminating in the soup of negativity, pain, fear, and doubt? 

And by comparison, how much time do you spend dwelling in possibility, desire, expansiveness, and joy?

We live in a culture that repeatedly tells us we can’t have what we want. We’ve been taught to doubt ourselves, be afraid of our own aliveness, and settle for less than what we long for by default.

If you don’t start to catch yourself in the act of self-sabotage, you will be carried down into the swirling chaos of impossibility that will invite you to stay scared, stuck, and small – time and time, again.

When you learn to take a step back and witness what’s going on inside of you from a neutral observer vantage point, you can start to see that you have a choice when it comes to the thoughts you think.

You can focus on what you don’t want – something we’re all good at! – or you can spend the same amount of time thinking about what you do want.

What feels better?

What seems like a better use of time and energy to you?

The next time you find yourself in a maelstrom of uncertainty, indecision, worry, and gloom, see if you can interrupt those thoughts with a question that comes from the wise, powerful, self-honoring part of you that knows you are…

Powerful.

Creative.

Worthy.

Capable.

Beautiful.

Supported.

Gifted.

And loved.

Let that wise part of you remind you that you have a choice.

You can choose to marinate in failure, indecision, criticism, and lack, OR you can redirect your thoughts to the blank canvas of possibilities that is yours to paint as you see fit.

Your dreams and desires are here for a reason. They have come through you for a powerful reason that is yours, and yours alone.

They are an inner directive from your soul, asking to be lived into and explored. They are a call to stretch, and grow, and delight in this journey called life.

What dreams and desires are calling you right now? 

Will you give them the time and attention they deserve instead of feeding the fears that want distract you from living?

What will you do the next time fear and doubt pay you a visit?

xx

Alicia