When I work with clients who want to lose weight, I always touch in on what’s really happening when weight loss is the goal.

Because there are 2 challenges happening simultaneously, and both need our attention.

The first is the weight itself.

The second is the emotional struggle around weight that’s happening in the background – a struggle that may have been happening far longer than the weight issue itself.

Whether we like it or not, we live in a world where we are judged by our looks. For nearly every woman I’ve known and worked with, taking the world’s judgments and feedback personally is sadly the norm.

We end up becoming our own most severe critic and judge. No matter the feedback we might receive about how amazing and beautiful and extraordinary we are, we can’t take it in or believe it’s true.

The emotional war on our weight – whether it’s coming from the outside or the inside – often is an even bigger issue than the weight itself.

Unfortunately, most approaches to weight loss pay very little attention to the emotional side of things, which greatly undercuts the success rate of those weight loss plans.

So, let’s talk about the 3 things that need to be part of any successful weight loss program that helps you keep the weight off.

1. A great weight loss approach needs to help you bring self-awareness to yourself and your unique body.

The dieting culture has convinced us that all bodies are alike, and all bodies should respond to any weight loss formula we apply to them. We’re often so desperate to lose weight that we’ll agree to try just about anything if we think it will help us change our bodies fast – even if it’s an outdated approach that doesn’t take our unique physiology, personality, or preferences into account.

If you want to lose weight and keep it off, you need an approach that puts you in touch with your body, not at further odds with it. This helps you to better understand your body and its unique needs.

The weight loss program you choose needs to be flexible and adaptable so you can individualize it as needed.

2. A great weight loss approach will meaningfully address the psychology behind your eating.

Most people give zero attention to their thoughts and beliefs around body, food and weight. Why would they? It simply doesn’t occur to most people because it’s not talked about or taught in the dieting world.

It’s less expensive, far easier, and far sexier to market a low-carb or low-fat approach to losing weight than it is to help people understand the powerful role their thoughts and emotions are having on their efforts to lose weight.

Our thoughts, feelings and beliefs about food and our bodies have an enormous impact on our ability to release weight. If you are frustrated by weight loss approaches that aren’t creating long-term results, you owe it to yourself to learn about the inner terrain of your unique weight loss journey.

This is because every weight loss journey is unique and deserves a different, and well-rounded approach that takes all of you into account, not just the weight you want to lose.

3. A great weight loss approach will address the ways your unique physiology, diet, and key lifestyle factors (especially stress) affect each other.

Every body is unique and different. Every person’s physiology is different – and it changes over time. This means that the effect of one diet on one person is going to be radically different than its effect on another person depending on factors like illness, stress, age, environment and more.

All of this needs to be considered if we want to release weight. It’s powerful to learn about the different metabolic factors in weight loss resistance, hormonal influences on weight loss, how stress and relaxation physiology influence weight, working with the body’s bio-circadian rhythms, macro and micro-nutrient balance, and more.

Can you see how silly it is to think a diet that worked for a fit and carefree 19-year old might not work well for a single 47 year old with 2 kids and a 50+ hour work week?

It can take time to understand why we’re struggling with weight. It can take time to figure out what’s needed to shift it.

Weight is one of the most difficult body challenges there is because it is as much of an inner journey as it is an outer one.

Any weight loss approach really requires our patience, self-trust,  and a lot of generosity towards ourselves. Please be gentle with yourself as you search for answers.

And if you would like someone to walk with you, please reach out. I’m here to help.