Sometimes people or things or circumstances from our past show up in unexpected, surprising, and even unwelcome ways. If they were positive experiences, they can flood us with gratitude, nostalgia, and an oceanic sense of wellbeing.

 

If they were less than optimal, or outright traumatic, their reemergence can be deeply upsetting. They can bring up untold heartache, or usher us back to a time of upheaval and pain that altered us or our life trajectory in earth shattering ways.

 

You may not have had much choice when you had an experience with these things the first time around. But this second time around? You most certainly do.

 

When these things come back into your life, remember you get to respond however you choose to, from the woman you are today.

 

If you feel emotional for a bit when things from your past arise, especially if they were challenging for you, know that your feelings are completely normal.

 

Be kind to yourself. Breathe. Feel your feelings and go gently.

 

It can be very easy to revert emotionally to the age you were when those events first happened. If you slow things down and stay present with yourself – instead of numbing out or running away – you’ll be able to face things from a much more empowered place.

 

Take your time. Turn deliberately towards these things in a way that feels safe, grounded, and full of self-respect.

 

Do your best to create some space to remember who you are today – a woman who honors herself, shows up in her authenticity and power, and remembers she has choice in how she responds.

 

Your unfinished life experiences from your past can be golden opportunities.

 

They can be an opportunity to re-examine things from the fresh perspective of who you are today vs. the woman you were in the past who first encountered them.

 

They can be an invitation to consciously bring any unfinished “business” from your past to a close, and to take stock of how far you’ve come.

 

As situations from your past present themselves, recognize they are an opportunity for you to see what you’ve learned, if/how you’ve grown, and what, if anything, there is still for you to complete.

 

This time around maybe you get to…

 

Apologize

Forgive someone – even if they aren’t sorry

Feel the feelings you couldn’t feel before

Rage and scream and break things

Grieve and sob and wail

Rejoice and celebrate!

See things from a bigger picture perspective

Speak up

Say nothing

Wish someone well who would not do the same for you

Choose not to engage this time

Stand proud

Say goodbye

Open to more love

Tell a different story

Say f#ck you, f#ck it, or f#ck off

Hold a better boundary

Ask for help

Receive support

Be seen, heard, held, and loved

Throw a party

See things as perfect, even if you wouldn’t want to relive them

 

Maybe you get to do all of this and more.

 

What you always get to do is be true to yourself.

 

Maybe you didn’t know how to be true to yourself in the past, but today you do. Today you get to hold yourself in the highest regard and show up as your most resilient, authentic, and beautiful self.

 

Because you are a woman who knows her worth. And you know that even if these things from the past shaped you, they do not get to define you.

 

Celebrate when you’re able to respond differently to things from your past. It’s a sign that you have grown!

 

And if there are places where you still feel stuck, or like you’re 7 or 16 or 28 all over again, just know you’re being shown where there are unresolved or incomplete experiences inside of you.

 

These are sacred places to get curious about, to love more than ever before, and to ask what, if anything, needs your attention and care.

 

It’s not always easy when things or people or experiences from our past show up in our present-day life. Sometimes it’s disorienting and infuriating to an extreme.

 

But hidden in all the emotion that might arise is an opportunity to give yourself the care, support and love you most likely didn’t get in the past. It’s a moment in time when you get to honor yourself as the amazing woman you are today.

 

You get to choose to be your own greatest advocate and friend. That is a strength you can take with you into every area of your life, forever more.

 

What’s the most important thing to do when sh*t from your past comes up?

 

Honor yourself. Celebrate yourself. Hold yourself in the highest regard. Take your time. Choose how you will respond, if at all. Remember your worth and act accordingly.

 

What happened in the past does not get to dictate your today. YOU DO.

 

 

PS: Here are some ways I can support you in making new choices for yourself in 2022:

1) Follow me on Instagram here.

2) Download my “8 Shifts for Stepping Into the New You”​​ document here.