I was talking with a client recently who is dealing with a health issue that comes with some debilitating symptoms when things flare up.

As she was sharing with me the long list of things that are going on for her, she said, “Alicia, my body just needs to get in line because I have to work.”

I was struck by how often women think some version of this same thought about their own bodies every single day.

The way the systems in our culture are set up and hyper-focused on productivity, we’ve all been taught that we have to be able to work at any cost.

There’s a sense of pride that people have about working when they’re sick or injured. “Pushing through” is seen as a strength and something to aspire to.

😧

I sincerely hope you’re reading this and thinking that this is super dysfunctional.

Because it is.

When did it become okay to think your work should come before your health and happiness?

When did it become the norm to override the cries and shouts from your body, and think the problem is your body instead of how our culture expects you to ignore and override it?

And when did it become and either-or kind of scenario? Where you can either be productive and “successful”, or vibrant and healthy??

There are a lot of dynamics at play, but here are some of the thoughts I shared with my client.

There is a shame and stigma that follows illness in our culture, as if it’s a sign of weakness.

If you have an illness, a recurring health challenge, or even a cold (for goodness sakes!), the amount of guilt and shame that comes with it is astonishing.

In some new age circles illness is seen as a sign of spiritual weakness. In some religious circles illness is seen as a punishment from god.

I think all of this contributes to our cultural compulsion to hide, ignore and override our bodies because none of us want to be labeled as weak, inferior, susceptible, or bad.

Our egos can also derive a sense of importance when we’re busy, and a as a result, we can suffer from a lack of self-worth when we’re not.

But at some point we have to decide if we’re going to keep listening and following what the culture around us expects of us, forever tie our value to busy-ness, and be the dutiful good girls we were taught to be…

Or if we’re going to start listening to what our bodies really need instead.

What if instead of expecting our bodies to get in line with what we say is important, we got in line with what our bodies need?

What if we decided to arrange our lives in a way to give our bodies the optimal conditions they need to thrive?

What if we rested when we were tired? Drank more water than caffeine? Ate foods our bodies actually like? Unplugged from technology and spent time in nature? Connected in real life with loved ones?

What would happen then?

You might be reading this and think, “I know, I know. I really should do more self-care.” But you’re also thinking there is no way you can. Or once you get everything on your list done then you’ll take care of yourself…

And all the while your body is screaming and breaking down.

TRUTH:

It is even *more* important for you to care for yourself if your life is full and demanding.

Because we must give back to ourselves. We must fill our own cups. We must be devoted to our own wellbeing. We are the only ones who can give this to ourselves. We require that kind of care on a consistent basis, not just once in a while.

We cannot care for others, let alone care for them well if we don’t. Resentment lives just around the corner from overwhelm and burnout. None of these are fun places to live.

There will be times when everything in our lives is moving at a walking pace, and other times when things are moving at a jog. There will also be times when things are moving at a sprint and our output is far more than is usual.

What you can never lose sight of us what you need to thrive amidst it all.

When I shared this with my client, I asked her the following questions:

1. What are 3 things in your life that feel life-giving to you?
2. What are your top 3 priorities in your life right now?
3. What would it be like, for now, to simplify your life and only focus on what matters most to you?

After some thought, my client realized she only had a finite amount of time and energy. She decided she didn’t need to try to impress anyone by stretching herself so thin.

She decided she wanted to let go of a Spanish class she was taking to free up some time in her schedule and reduce the pressure she was feeling to do so much.

She asked a mom friend of hers to pick her son up from school on Tuesdays and Thursdays, so she had a smoother transition from work to home without needing to rush.

She even decided to find a way to go on a walk with a girlfriend 3-4 days a week to get some time outside, along with some exercise, because she always feels so full after spending time with her friend.

She started to organize her life around what mattered most to her, what she had the bandwidth for, and what *gave back to her*.

A beautiful side effect of all of her decisions was that in just 3 weeks she had fewer flare ups and fewer symptoms. Her health continues to improve because she is making her body and her wellbeing the top priority in her life.

Whether we want it to be true or not, the way our lives are organized has a direct and significant impact on our bodies and our health.

We may think our bodies need to “get in line” with the demands of our lives, when really we need to get our lives in line with the needs and requirements of our bodies.

There will be times when we can handle a lot of stimulation and activity and responsibilities.

And there will be other times when we need life to be more simple, quiet and gentle. Both are good and important to honor.

What is your body asking for right now?