Some of you may know that I’ve been dealing with an intense chronic illness for the last 4.5 years. During this time, I’ve lived a simple life that’s been primarily focused on healing and being a mom.

I’ve had little contact with the outside world, ordered most of what I’ve needed on Amazon, and relied on the help and support of some folks who could do so.

It’s been humbling, lonely at times, and as much as I’ve tried to speed it up and fight my way through it (none of which has made a difference, by the way…) it’s also been surprisingly and deeply nourishing.

Here are some things that I’ve learned these past few years that could support you as we all deepen into socially distancing ourselves:

1. Creating both structure and rhythm to my daily life has been paramount to my wellbeing. One of my mentors taught me that when there was a lot of upheaval, chaos, and unpredictability, he always did at least one thing – the same thing – every day. That one thing created something he could anticipate and be in control of every day. I’ve remembered that these past 4.5 years, and even today. So, 6 days a week I wake up around the same time (often in the form of a 4.5 year old ittle boy “alarm clock”…). I eat my meals around roughly the same time every day. I have clear times in my day and week when I work out, when I am in my office, when I handle personal errands and appointments, and when it’s “me” time. This structure and rhythm has, at times, been the only thing that’s kept me sane these past few years. It might serve you very well now, too.
2. Getting clear on what is needed in order for me to feel safe, taken care of and fully supported has been key. Safety is something that is experienced on many levels – in relationships, in our financial lives, in our homes and surroundings, and more. Right now, many of us are feeling the impact of today’s events financially. This can create a lot of fear about what’s going to happen, and a lot of scary stories and scenarios can build up inside of us until we feel like we’re going to burst. I’ve found that getting super clear on what’s what is very empowering. What do you need in order to be alright? What needs to happen, and by when? What actions would be helpful for you to take? How can you be creative about it? What support can you allow yourself to ask for and receive right now? Tending to these important questions will help you to feel less distracted and burdened by fear, worry, anxiety and stress. Taking appropriate action will also help you to feel powerful rather than a victim to circumstance.
3. Leaning in to the unknown and learning to trust yourself might feel scary, foreign and super uncomfortable right now. And, it’s a super powerful way forward in times of uncertainty and change. The truth is, there are far more things that we don’t know than what we do know. Not just today, but always. And it’s not so much the “unknown” that scares us, but the stories we make up in our minds about the “unknown”. So, instead of catastrophizing about what could or might happen, what if you got curious about it instead? Or downright creative? When I remembered how powerful I am, even as a super ill person, and that I can choose how I respond to everything (not always easy, but very true), I realized that I could meet any challenge that came my way. I learned I could trust myself to find a way through. The same is true for you, for all of us. How is all of this unfolding for us? That’s something to get curious about.
4. Making time for connection is important. I don’t self-identify as an introvert, but it turns out I’ve done pretty well being mostly isolated these past few years. This may not be the case if you see yourself as an extrovert. Humans are meant for connection – whether it’s occasional or daily, or every minute of the day. So during times of seclusion and incubation, connection is queen. There are different ways to connect. The first and most important way is with yourself. How are you doing? What do you need? What is present for you right now? Getting clear on this will help you to identify how to best honor yourself in the days ahead. Connecting with something bigger than yourself – be it God/Goddess, the Universe, your Soul, your Higher Self. Making time for this on a daily or regular basis is life changing in the best ways possible. Connecting with others is also essential. And what a gift that we have so many virtual ways of doing that today! I’ve made it a habit to schedule my connection time, whether it’s a long-distance girlfriend Zoom chat, or an old-school phone call. I also use a voice messaging app and am connected with friends all around the world that way. Connection sustains, inspires and enlivens us. Find multiple ways to do this over the next few weeks so you always have something to look forward to.
5. Being intentional and aligning with your priorities creates freedom. My life has been relatively simple these past few years. It’s had to be. In a lot of ways, that’s been really wonderful, but when it’s not a self-chosen thing, it can also feel super frustrating. Right now, when so many things are changing, it’s important to get clear on what your priorities are, because this will help you to make decisions that truly serve you and those you love. When was the last time you got clear on what your true priorities are? Not what you think they should be, but what is really real and true for you? Now is an incredible opportunity to get clear and congruent with this for yourself. So often we say something is important to us, but it’s actually #47 on our priority list. This is the perfect time to rectify this for yourself. And then you can choose to let go of the things that aren’t in alignment with what’s really and truly important to you. Crowd them out. Let things get super simple yet potent instead of watering down everything that you do because you’re juggling so many balls at the same time.
6. Getting super present with the moment and what is… not what should be, what could be, what was supposed to be, but WHAT IS… will change your life for the better in an instant. Here’s the thing: especially if you’ve been running, going, pushing, producing and you tend to live on the type A spectrum (not that I know anything about that… lol) this social distancing thing might feel like you’re not accomplishing anything, or like all you’ve worked for or created is going to crumble if you’re not there constantly tending to it. It might feel like you’re not being ambitious enough, or good enough, or simply enough enough. The truth is that you’re not a machine. Constantly working your tush off isn’t sustainable. You require times of rest. Time to do nothing. Time for quiet and reflection, evaluation and daydreaming. Time for play and purposelessness. So let the present be whatever it is. Breathe and let yourself arrive here, now. Your ambitions are important too, and there will be a time and a place for them – I promise. But the more you hang on to what’s supposed to be happening, and fighting what is happening, the more you’ll miss out on the preciousness of what is here NOW.
7. The biggest thing I’ve learned is that it’s super important, imperative even, to be gentle and generous with yourself. 4.5 years is a long time. It’s a lot longer than any of us will likely be asked to self-quarantine or socially distance for today’s events and circumstances. But it’s still a big shift – for all of us. As in, the whole planet! It’s a shift away from the daily routine, rhythm, pattern, system and structure. It’s a shift away from your usual M.O. It’s going to take a moment, or two, or many for you to let this be okay. To trust. To let your nervous system unwind and settle. So be kind, to yourself especially, and others too. Show yourself some generosity and compassion. Or a lot. And know that we were all made for these times. We wouldn’t be here, now, if we weren’t.

I’m grateful you’re here, and I sincerely hope this has been helpful to you. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this! And if you have any tips to share, please leave them in the comments below.

Big hugs and lots of love to each and every one of you!