Whether it’s losing weight, feeling good in their skin, having more energy to get through the day, or finally prioritizing ourselves and our deepest desires, the “All or Nothing” mindset is a powerful saboteur for women.

Here are a few examples:

• You’re following a strict diet and eat something that’s not on the plan, so you toss the plan out the window and eat anything and everything in sight

• You feel bone tired and all you want to do is take a sabbatical, but you fear if you stop, you’ll never start again… so you never give yourself permission to take the break you need

• You write an article that gets published, but after it’s gone out you discover a typo and now you feel like the article, and YOU, are a complete failure and fraud

• You begin a meditation practice and start off excited and inspired, but something comes up on day 4 and you can’t follow through. Now you’re convinced you can’t do it, so you give up.

The “All or Nothing” mindset comes from needing to get something completely “right”, and not being happy unless you do it perfectly. Underneath this fixation on doing things perfectly lives a fear of being criticized and judged.

There are some common fears that can lock us into this “All or Nothing” place. The fear of being seen as lazy, inadequate, ordinary, sloppy, disorganized, invisible, confused, and a complete and utter failure (amidst others) can create a lot of tension inside of us. But there may even be times when perfectionism is really running the show that you might unconsciously show up these ways – as lazy, confused, sloppy, etc. – as a way to really sabotage yourself.

There’s nothing like embodying your greatest fears to really undermine yourself and your best intentions!

Truth be told, the “All or Nothing” mindset isn’t all bad. It can motivate you to do things at a high level and be committed to excellence. But it can also stop you in your tracks, prevent you from getting things done, make things take much longer than they need to, rob you of your confidence, make things much more difficult than they need to be, and lead you into a pile of self-judgment and nasty self-talk.

The “All or Nothing” mindset is a pressure cooker for only 2 possible outcomes – perfection or failure – and neither creates the freedom, flow and joy that you really want in your life.

And, to top it all off, perfection isn’t actually possible. Yes, you read that right. Unless you are a god, the pursuit of perfection will only set you up for frustration, disappointment, failure and exhaustion.

When it comes to an “All or Nothing” mindset, there’s no wiggle room for missteps, mistakes, or the many shades of grey that exist between the blackest of blacks and the whitest of whites. It’s been my experience that the areas in between – where all of those lovely shades of grey are – is where beauty lives.

The truth is that life, when it’s truly lived and enjoyed, exists between black and white, perfection and failure, all and nothing. There are flaws and blunders, ecstatic wins and celebrations, and best-seller-worthy miscalculations and misunderstandings.

Life is a mixture of it all. Living it all – and really loving yourself through it – is the point.

So, the next time you find yourself locked into the stress of “All or Nothing” thinking, and needing everything to be “perfect”, ask yourself the following questions:

1) What are you afraid other people will think or say about you?

2) Who are you being perfect for?

3) How does the pursuit of perfection feel to you? How does it affect you on both the inner and outer levels?

4) If things didn’t have to be perfect, what would you do? Experience? Enjoy?

Here’s to laying “All or Nothing” thinking to rest, and to embracing the continuum that lives between the two, instead. Your health will thank you for it!

With love and Transcendent Health,

Alicia

PS: When you make looking and feeling good a priority, your life opens up. Your confidence expands, your creativity blossoms, and the burden of all your responsibilities shifts in the best possible ways. Want to learn how to look and feel your best? Click here to join my free, private online community to learn more!