Most people focus only on the mechanics of weight loss.

Eat less + more exercise = you will burn more calories than your body takes in. The gap between the two is how much weight you will lose over a given period of time.

But weight loss, like everything else in life, is both an inner journey AND an outer one. Focusing only on the mechanics of weight loss only takes the outer journey into consideration.

Along with the actual weight someone is carrying, there is usually a hefty mix of complicated emotions that have gotten tied up in the act of eating and with food, too.

So, let’s revisit the topic of Instant Gratification. Because this is something that can confound and confuse anyone who is trying to lose weight.

Here is how Instant Gratification works: As humans, we are hardwired to seek pleasure and avoid pain. This is what drives our behaviors and our actions. It’s an intelligence that is baked into how we are built. It’s smart! It keeps us alive!

At the most basic and primitive level, when we eat we are seeking the pleasure of food and avoiding the pain of hunger. And for many, we eat to not only receive the pleasure of food, but to also avoid the pain of uncomfortable emotions.

But tied into our innate biology is also this: When I am seeking pleasure, or seeking to avoid pain and discomfort, I want what I want when I want it. I want it NOW, and I will get cranky, annoyed, impatient and even angry if I can’t have what I want RIGHT NOW.

Anyone who has raised a child knows that this sounds an awful lot like a tantrumming two year old, or even like a rebellious 14 year old.

Instant gratification shows up as a less than evolved part of us that only wants its immediate needs met with zero interest in any future reality or consequence beyond this present moment.

Long-term ramifications? Screw ‘em! I want what I want, and I want it right now!

We’re taught from a young age that this is how you achieve something – you “get your act together”. You get disciplined. And you get more self-control. Traditional weight loss approaches preach the same thing.

But it’s different when it comes to food. We can’t just rely on discipline and self-control. Eating is a biological imperative. We have to eat to live.

One of the things we must learn to do, if we want to lose weight, is to delay gratification in a mature and adult way so that we can receive the future benefits of weight loss that we desire.

If we are reaching for food to avoid an uncomfortable feeling, we can ask ourselves, “What else can I do, other than eat, to help myself feel better?”

And “What foods can I eat that will deeply support and nourish me? What foods could I eat to not only fill my belly, but also keep me moving toward my weight loss goals?”

I know this doesn’t sound very sexy, or fun. But the work of true and lasting transformation rarely is.

Delaying Instant Gratification is one of the fundamental tasks we must learn to master when we are on a weight loss journey.

To do this, we have to do something that might feel counterintuitive to you. We must let go of the dieting mentality that has a stranglehold on all of us.

Dieting train us NOT to eat. They teach us how to override our hunger and RESIST eating. But that’s not what we need to learn how to do.

Anyone who is on a weight loss journey needs to learn HOW TO EAT – and how to eat in a relaxed and natural way so that our bodies can receive the pleasure they are seeking, know when they have received it (and are satisfied), and digest and utilize all that they have received to the very best of their ability.

If you are on a weight loss journey, one of the biggest tasks before you isn’t figuring out what to eat and what not to eat. It’s learning how to become a relaxed and present eater.

If you frequently give in to Instant Gratification, I want you to know that you are not a willpower weakling. You are simply learning how to be in a body. You’re learning how your body and psyche operate. And you’re learning how to be an eater.

Getting to know how Instant Gratification shows up in your life can support your weight loss journey in ways you might not expect.

Transformation happens when we do the work on ourselves. The more clearly we are able to see ourselves and our patterns, the more we can support ourselves in clear, compassionate and effective ways.

If you’re ready, reach out to me and let’s talk. With the right support around you, the transformation you desire is possible.