Like most women I know, I was taught from a very young age that my value and worth were tied up in how much I could do for someone else. So, because I was an overachiever, I became very good at doing for others, even when it was at the expense of myself.

I learned to squish my needs and desires into a tiny corner inside of myself.
I became a master of sacrifice and self-abandonment.
I gave and gave and gave of myself until there was literally nothing left to give.
And I felt pride in my exhaustion, depletion and martyrdom.

Until I became really tired and resentful, my body started to hurt, and I developed a myriad of mystery symptoms and conditions that no one had an answer for.

I look back at that younger, incredibly earnest, big-hearted version of myself and I wish I could grab her and hug her. Because she grew up in a family, a culture, and a time that reinforced her deep-seated fears that who she was just wasn’t enough.

She was never taught how to truly care for and honor herself.
She never saw an example of anyone who knew how to be true to themselves.
She didn’t know how to tap into her innate wisdom and knowing.
And she definitely didn’t ever learn how to trust herself more than the opinions and agendas of others.

I’ve learned a lot since then.

I’ve walked the long, bewildering, and deeply humbling journey of healing from complete collapse and breakdown.

I’ve made heart wrenching decisions to walk away from environments, circumstances and relationships that demanded I please others at the expense of myself.

I’ve learned to no longer ignore, deny or diminish my needs, requirements and desires.

I’ve learned (and am still learning) to take up space, let myself be as big and audacious as I really am, and live a life that prioritizes my self-discovery, vitality, beauty and power.

And… it seems that we are also at a cultural tipping point, where more and more women are waking up to the importance of being true to themselves – to all of who they are – without guilt, apology or any form of self-erasure.

We are starting to slowly turn the page on self-sacrifice, and the old motto of “no pain, no gain”. Women are waking up to a deep inner knowing that “there must be a better way”, and that new way is emerging. As a collective, women are beginning to see how they’ve perpetually sacrificed themselves and placed their dreams on the backburner. Some women are audaciously choosing to no longer postpone their desires.

Here is what I want you to know:

It takes courage to truly honor yourself because learning to honor yourself requires you to trust yourself like you’ve never trusted yourself before.

It’s not always an easy path, but I can tell you that learning to hold yourself in the highest regard, and to love yourself in the ways you’ve always needed and wanted…

…There is little else in the world that will ever impact you, your health, your relationships, your finances, and your entire life in more positive and far-reaching ways than this.

Learning to care for and honor yourself isn’t about doing things perfectly, or even 100% of the time. It’s about becoming incredibly skilled at never abandoning yourself, and always coming back to you. That’s something every woman can do, starting today.