Being 6 months pregnant, I’m seeing a lot of care providers right now. I have assembled a team of support around me that includes a midwife, an acupuncturist, a body worker, and the nurse practitioners and doctors at a local hospital. I plan to birth at a birthing center with the support of a midwife and doula, but I’ve been going to a local hospital for the blood work and exam portion of things because that is what our insurance will cover.

It’s been tricky navigating between different practitioners and different philosophies. The midwives at the birth center have a different approach to working with me than the nurse practitioners and doctors at the hospital do. I knew this would be the case from the beginning, but I wasn’t fully prepared for the conversation that I had during my last doctor’s visit.

After reviewing my numbers and my chart, the doctor told me that he was worried about only two things – my age, and my weight. “You’re 40, and by our standards that makes you elderly and high risk. In addition, I see that you’ve already gained 29 pounds with your pregnancy, and this is concerning. Technically, you’re overweight, as we don’t like our mothers to gain more than 25 – 30 pounds during pregnancy.”

Here’s the thing. If I didn’t have the level of self-awareness, confidence and trust in myself that I have, this entire conversation would have devastated me. But here’s what I knew. My numbers and test results have been spectacular across the board. I feel amazing (sometimes a bit tired, but otherwise, amazing!). And I know I am one of the healthiest bodies these doctors see on any given day. I’ve been told so.

I’m also aware that I have far more training and understanding in the realms of nutrition and the body – it’s what I’ve been studying and doing for the past 15+ years. And, I have discovered an even deeper level of trust, surrender and appreciation for my body through my pregnancy. My body is growing a healthy baby all on its own. I’m not directing it or making it happen. It knows how to do this all by itself!

So, I heard the perspective from the doctor. I heard him voice his concerns. And I heard him when he said that my age and weight were concerning to him. But I’m not concerned, and that is the most important thing.

It can be really tempting and easy to give away our knowing, our intuition and insight, to an external authority because we believe they must know more than we do. But during my 1^st trimester, when I was sick in bed for 5 weeks and barely eating anything, I still gained over 10 pounds. At first I was really worried by this. 10 pounds is a lot of weight, especially to the newly pregnant.

But after months of growing a healthy, very active baby inside of me, I’m convinced that my body knows what it’s doing. My body knows things I don’t know. My body is doing what it knows to do, and I trust it.

I told the doctor that if he could see what I eat, when I eat, how much I eat and how I eat, the 29-pound weight gain wouldn’t make sense to him. It doesn’t make sense to me sometimes! But it is what my body is doing, and I’m going to trust it.

I trust when my body craves watermelon, spinach, berries and garbanzo beans. I wouldn’t be so trusting if I was craving junk food and sugar. I also trust that at the age of 40, my body got pregnant – easily, joyfully, and intentionally. I’m going to trust this magical, mysterious and magnificent process that I am in, and I’m not going to give in to the idea that I’m elderly or overweight.

This is my body, my pregnancy, and my journey. It may not look like the textbook numbers they want to see (heaven forbid I gain another pound!), but it is my journey and it’s absolutely beautiful.

I am dedicated to the beauty and the natural unfolding of this experience – and not at the expense of taking risks or doing things I know aren’t healthy for my baby or myself. And I’m clear that just because I’m 40, and just because I’ve gained 29 pounds does not mean I’m high risk, or that I can’t have a completely healthy, happy rest of my pregnancy and a beautiful delivery when my baby is ready to make his debut.

I share this with you because it’s taken self-awareness, self-love and a lot of self-trust to get to this place where I can really tune into my inner knowing about something and not be deterred by someone else’s opinion or fear – no matter how much they try to convince me otherwise!

I share this with you as an invitation to get to know yourself, your body and your inner wisdom. It’s a beautiful journey into yourself that you will never regret!