Have you ever had a moment…

When everything felt like it was falling apart?

When you felt like giving up?

When it felt like your life had blown up and you were sitting, stunned, in the aftermath?

When you felt so lost, so hopeless, so bereft, so tired, so… humbled by it all?

When you enter into a moment like this, there is nothing wrong. In fact, you have entered into one of the most sacred transformational spaces that exist.Healing, growing, and change of all kinds will include moments that scare the sh*t out of you. (Notice that the word sacred could be easily misspelled as “scared”. Sometimes the 2 aren’t that far apart.)

There will be moments when you don’t know what to do next. When you are out of answers, excuses, know-how, and the energy to uphold the mask that everything is alright. You will have moments when even you aren’t sure that everything is alright.

It can feel like everything is falling apart. You might feel ugly, messy, dirty, broken… But in reality, these moments are sacred and holy AF.

Because in these moments, you are at the most powerful choice point of all choice points. So very often when we’re in these moments of pure confusion and chaos, women are left to answer what feels like an unanswerable question:

Will I continue to neglect, deny, ignore, repress and override myself and my truth? Or will I choose yourself?

If this isn’t holy ground, I don’t know what is.

This is the sacred work of choosing and loving yourself enough to stop playing games, pretending you’re fine, placating others, walking on eggshells or being what everyone else expects and wants you to be.

These moments are opportunities for you to BECOME MORE OF YOURSELF FOR YOURSELF.

What does this mean?

When we feel like everything is falling apart, most of us will go into our longstanding (and often unconscious) ways of coping. Our defense mechanisms will emerge, and we’ll go into our preferred way of handling this:

We’ll fight, or freeze, or run, or try to placate, people please, and make things better for everyone around us.

But those very defenses might be what need to fall away in these fall-to-our-knees moments when everything is breaking apart.

We get to remember that WE are important. Our wants and needs are essential to our own wellbeing. WE have a say in what our life looks and feels like. And if our lives aren’t what we hoped or need them to be? We can make changes for our own betterment – even if it means disappointing the people around us.

We can choose ourselves and our own wellbeing, even if we fear it’s selfish and self-serving to do so.These are the moments when the real you can finally emerge. When you get to be honest and real – first with yourself, and then with others.

It’s when you get to remember who you are, and you get to see all the ways you’ve been denying, stuffing, repressing and closeting yourself… and feeling ashamed of what is true for you.

These messy moments are gateways. They are opportunities when, if we are brave enough to stay with it, we can stop slumping into a puddle of tears on the floor, and instead rise into our power and burn away all of the denial and illusion we’ve been living in – even the illusions we’ve created for ourselves.

From this place of no longer caretaking others over ourselves…

Tolerating the intolerable becomes unimaginable.

Suffering in silence becomes impossible.

Taking responsibility for how other people are hurting becomes unthinkable.

Honoring yourself becomes everything.

There can be so many things that will keep us living lives that aren’t really meant for us. Eventually, and inevitably, those things stop working for us, and we just might find ourselves on our knees, snot and tears flowing everywhere, because we just don’t know what to do, we feel like giving up, and we don’t know where to go from here.

Remember, this is a holy moment. It is a door opening and an invitation being handed to you to trust yourself and to trust where life is calling you next.

The Universe is constantly at our door, offering us adventures, opportunities, blessings, magic, and love. And sometimes she’s kicking the door down, holding a torch, and setting fire to everything in the form of lessons, heartbreaks, health crises, and more.

This is why it takes courage to let yourself BE in these sacred moments. To feel everything. And to make a commitment to yourself that you will love yourself, choose yourself, honor yourself, and belong to yourself no matter what.

This is the work.

If you are willing to show up for it, it will transform you, your health, your body and your life in ways you never could have imagined while you were on the former path you were on.

When and if you find yourself in one of these scary, messy AF moments, I want you to know that it is a message from the Universe that it is time to stop abandoning yourself

These moments are a call to double down on your commitment to yourself. To deepen the respect, love and compassion you have for yourself. And to make the relationship you have with yourself THE most important relationship in your life.

You are, and have always been, worth it.