Being in a human body is a lot of work.

We’ve got all these emotions that are constantly flowing through us, giving us so much information about our experience of life, pointing us toward what feels good and directing us away from what is painful.

From a very young age we must find ways to meet and regulate all the crazy energy that we feel via our emotions in the most skillful, effective, and healthy ways we can.

As infants, we learn very quickly that the easiest, most effective way to feel better is to eat.

Watch any infant and you’ll soon see – as soon as they receive food, they begin to relax.

At the most primitive level, this is hardwired into our nervous systems:

Feel bad, eat food, feel better.

At every age, this biological drive to seek pleasure and avoid pain is still operating under the surface.

The act of seeking food as a source of pleasure, while avoiding the pain of hunger, is a very wise and effective strategy for navigating life. It’s how we as humans are built, and it’s brilliant!

But unless we evolve our methods for regulating our emotional needs, we can feel trapped in a habit of using food to change how we feel.

As adults, it’s not usually the pain of hunger that is driving us to eat.

Instead, one of the strongest drivers for eating, aside from hunger, is to use food to manage the discomfort of unwanted or very strong emotions.

On a deeply primal level, challenging emotions are perceived as a threat to our survival and happiness.

And reflexively, we don’t want to feel them.

Instead, we’ll want to numb or distract ourselves from that unpleasantness.

We will want to reach for something pleasure inducing to make ourselves feel better.

For many, food is the easiest source of comfort.

It’s legal, readily available, and it works!

If we’re feeling stressed out, or worried, or lonely or sad, food can make us feel better.

If we’re feeling overwhelmed, or we’ve had a big experience that we’re trying to integrate – positive or not – or we’re experiencing confusion, boredom, or grief…

Reaching for food can help us feel better, almost instantaneously.

When we eat to change how we feel, our body’s chemistry changes, and we receive the sweet relief of pleasure and relaxation.

This is the body’s wisdom in action. By choosing to eat to change how we feel, we are merely following this wisdom.

Can you see how eating to self-soothe, relax, ground, or avoid difficult emotions is a brilliant tactic?

In the short run it’s effective at meeting a need. Let’s acknowledge the wisdom in it and drop any shame that might be present around it.

In the long run, emotional eating can cause unwanted side effects and issues that take us in a direction that is opposite of what we really want.

If that happens, it’s important to do two things:

1. Recognize that emotional eating is NOT an issue with food or eating. It’s an issue with managing emotions.

1. Forgive yourself for doing what you are biologically hard-wired to do – seek pleasure and avoid pain.

If emotional eating is a pattern you feel stuck in, I want to remind you of how brilliant you are, and what a good job you’ve been doing to navigate some challenging emotions and times in your life.

There is a way out of the emotional eating cycle – a way out that will help you make peace with food, love your body, and better navigate challenging emotions and circumstances whenever they arise.

If you’re curious, or ready to talk to someone who understands and knows the way through, please reach out.

I’m here to help.

Lots of love,

Alicia