There are things I do every single day that are part of how I honor and care for myself. They’ve become such an integral part of how I organize and move through my days, that I don’t even think about them anymore.

But once upon a time it was impossible for me to imagine doing more than 2 of these things on any kind of a regular basis. It’s proof that we DO grow and change, and that small actions, over time, become mighty habits that can truly fortify and support all of who we are.

As I share my list of non-negotiables with you I want you to know that it’s taken time, a lot of repetition and refinement, and a lot of honesty about what I really need to make all of these practices a part of my daily life.

I used to pride myself on being “low maintenance”. But really, I was just ignoring and overriding my body, and that didn’t end well for me.

I’ll also say that these daily acts of care and deep support for myself began more than 20 years ago when I started experimenting with different diets, cleanses, and forms of exercise. I didn’t have a clue about how to take care of myself or feed myself at the time – much less nourish myself. It was a steep learning curve for me, with a lot of trial and error, too!

It’s been a journey – an unfolding. I’m still refining, evolving, and always listening for what will support me best and take me in the direction I want to go. Because when I do, everything and everyone around me receives the benefits of my self-care, too.

• 1. Sleep: I love sleep, and I do my best to get a minimum of 9 hours every night. Once upon a time I thought 7.5 hours a night was good enough, but I’ve learned (the hard way) that the more sleep we get, the more we fill our body’s savings account. That way, when we find ourselves in circumstances that require us to lose sleep, we can draw from that savings account and know something is in there to draw from! I’ve also discovered getting a minimum of 9 hours a night means going to bed early – 9:30pm is my sweet spot. I may not have a raging night life these days, but I function at a high level all day long (without caffeine!) and keep up with my 8-year old with ease.
  2. Supplements: So many of us are walking around with significant vitamin, healthy fat and mineral deficiencies that become more and more problematic as we age. Even the cleanest of clean diets lack what our frequently taxed and stressed bodies require. I’ve seen my client’s lives be transformed with the simple addition of magnesium, B and/or D vitamins, and omega-3 fats. High quality supplements are a powerful way to honor yourself and your body. I organize my supplements for the entire week on Sunday. It’s easier for me to just grab what I need for the day than it is to dole them out every morning. Find a way of staying organized and make it easy for you to take your supplements. Your body will thank you!
  3. Aligned Eating: It’s important to pay attention to what you are eating – not always from a caloric standpoint, but from the perspective of quality. Diets that are varied, colorful, full of fiber, and delicious, too… all of this is important! But aligned eating is also about how I eat, when I eat, and why I eat. When I’m eating in a way that serves me best, in a way that feels amazing to my body, at the time of day that’s most appropriate for that meal, with the best intentions behind it – I feel incredible, nourished, and well cared for. When I don’t, I don’t.
  4. Movement:  I love moving and feeling powerful in my body. Even if it’s just a little stretching, or 10 minutes of Pilates, or yoga (with my son doing his version of yoga right next to me), or a walk outside? It shifts things in a good-feeling direction for me. I’m more connected to myself, I have less pain in my body, and I’m more mentally focused and emotionally “fluid” for the day. I sleep better at night. The time I give to moving my body pays enormous dividends to me throughout my day.
  5. Hydration:  I live in a semi-arid, high altitude climate. Just about everyone walks around with a water bottle in hand because it’s so dry. But even when I’m traveling elsewhere I make drinking good quality water a priority for myself. My body and brain function better when I’m well hydrated. And my appearance definitely benefits from drinking a lot of H2O, too. I’ve learned how much water I need to drink every day, and I have specific times of the day when I do a majority of my drinking to ensure I’m getting enough. It’s one of the best daily investments I make in myself and my overall health.
  6. Safety:  I’ve learned what a lack of safety does to our bodies over time – it’s not pretty. If you feel your body goes into a chronic tension pattern, or you become anxious, uneasy, or triggered, it may serve you well to take an honest look at both the environments you spend time in, and those you are spending time with. Lack of safety can arrive as a feeling in the body that can be easy to override and ignore – especially if you’ve become accustomed to never feeling truly safe. When safety is present it allows our bodies to rest, rehabilitate, and heal. We don’t have to reside in hypervigilance, constantly preparing and bracing for something to happen. We don’t have to try to rationalize or normalize bizarre and unacceptable behaviors of others, either. Instead, peace can be present – not just around us, but inside of us.
  7. Pleasure:  Whether it’s a little *wink wink* “solo time”, a hot bath, a piece of dark chocolate melting in my mouth, the feel of soft cashmere on my skin, a hug from my kiddo, laughing with a dear friend, or simply watching a gorgeous sunset, pleasure is a non-negotiable thing in my life. Without it, I just don’t bloom like I usually do. Science has shown that, for women especially, pleasure is key to our overall vitality and health. That’s why I look for ways I can incorporate pleasure into my day, every day. It is essential.
  8. Catching Up with Myself:  This is what I call taking time to feel myself, my body, and my life on a regular basis. How am I feeling? What is/isn’t working? What needs to happen next? What am I longing for? Where is life calling me next? These are big questions that can only be answered by the mundane, everyday choices we make. We’re either moving in a direction that is aligned with who we are becoming, or not. My needs and wants and deep desires are constantly shifting. If I didn’t take time to catch up with myself on the regular, I might be living a life I’ve outgrown, or that doesn’t suit or serve me any longer. That would be painful – I’ve been there! It’s also unnecessary. Staying current with myself helps me meet myself and life in the best ways possible.
  9. Bookends to my day:  I have a simple morning ritual that helps me set the tone for my day instead of my day setting the tone for me. I take a few moments – sometimes that’s all the time I have – to get clear on what’s really important for the day (and what’s not, because sometimes it feels like everything is important). Then I walk through my morning with many of my non-negotiables in hand, knowing I’m buoyed and supported from the inside out. My evening ritual is all about unwinding and slowing down to allow rest to come easier than it might otherwise. When I’m well cared for and rested I’m far more capable of anything life brings my way. It not only sets the tone for rejuvenating sleep and dreaming, but it also helps me align my energy for the next day. I also check tomorrow’s schedule so there are no surprises or forgetful moments.
  10. Support:  I am a firm believer in support – not because I feel I, or others, are incapable. But because support makes hard things a bit easier. Why wouldn’t we choose that for ourselves?. When I need help with something – a place where I’m struggling, or I don’t know what to do to move myself forward and upward, or I’m caught in a pattern, and I don’t know how to spin myself out of it – I find the right support for myself so that I can make the changes I want to make. To give you an example, I’ve worked with business and life coaches, spiritual mentors, physicians, nutritionists, personal trainers, pelvic floor physical therapists, osteopaths, healers, acupuncturists, shamans, personal assistants, mindset coaches, stylists, a quantum visionary, not to mention my close friends and loved ones who support me in all the ways these others cannot. Never underestimate what quality support can do to help you move from where you are to where you want to be.

I hope I’ve given you some ideas, inspiration even, for how you can start honoring yourself more every day. There are days when Id o more to care for myself – but these are my 10 non-negotiables. They all serve different aspects of who I am.

Maybe pick on idea that stood out for you and try it for yourself. Notice how it changes things for you. Practice it. Refine it. Make it yours.

This is your life. It will be as amazing as you allow it to be. Why not love and honor yourself every step of the way? Start with one day and see for yourself.