This week I want to talk a little bit about the adrenaline rush we get from being busy and focusing on accomplishment.

Do you know what I’m talking about?

I used to take a lot of pride in how busy I was.

I got a rush from my full schedule, very little blank space on my calendar, and being in “high demand”.

I felt powerful and important! 💪

Ah, but peel just one layer beneath that, and the story wasn’t so glamorous.

(Ooof. This feels very vulnerable for me to share, but here goes!)

In the past, a HUGE part of my motivation came from constantly wanting and needing to PROVE myself. 

Prove my value

Prove my worth

Prove my deservedness

Prove my likeability

Prove that I merited love, attention, comfort, wealth, beauty, relationships… 

ALL OF IT.

This was a very deep, dark, all-consuming, all-motivating pain for me.

See me! Like me! Love me!

It also influenced my way of operating in the world.

I’d jump in, go hard and fast, work beyond what my body and nervous system could handle in a healthy way… 

I had created an identity around working hard, striving, staying busy, and only stopping on rare occasion to rest.

Because if I couldn’t go hard all the time, who was I?

If I couldn’t work at breakneck speed, what was I worth?

If I wasn’t constantly hustling and showing my hard work to everyone around me, who would love me? Who would think I was worthy of attention and love?

Just writing about this makes me feel nauseous. 😐

Because this used to own me.

I honestly, hand on heart, was not consciously aware of it.

Fast forward 30 years and from where I am today, I can see that my need to constantly prove myself led to burnout, resentment, anger, health issues, and a lot of body neglect and self-hate.

There are parts of me that are angry that I lived this way for so long – from such a lack of self- acknowledgment and worth. I was always seeking approval and belonging from the outside instead of giving it to myself.

I feel incredibly sad that the Alicia from my past felt she had to work so damn hard to justify her existence. That she lived off the scraps that were tossed her way and thought that was normal and enough. 

That she learned she was only valuable and loved when she was over working, over giving and over caretaking.

And that she felt uncomfortable and undeserving when it came to receiving

Those young Alicia experiences spilled over into my adult life and ruled the way I lived and worked for a very long time.

They don’t anymore. 

As a result, I feel FREE. Worthy. Proud. Grateful beyond measure. And like I can finally relax. 😍 

Because today, I am honoring, nourishing, accepting and loving myself in the ways that were absent before.

The beautiful thing about this is that it’s not just me (though I DO acknowledge what I’ve done to arrive where I now am). 

There is a shift happening culturally – some of it fueled by the pandemic, lockdown and the “Great Resignation”.

There is a current that started as a trickle but is now flowing – a movement where more and more women from all walks of life are owning their value and worth in new ways.

This is incredibly exciting!

And, it’s important to remember that the deepest, most lasting, most impactful changes do not come from a cultural shift.

They come from what you choose for yourself on an individual level. 

We can’t wait for the culture to shift before we give ourselves permission to give ourselves what we need. 

We must access the courage to start following our own inner compass today. 

Our truth can carry us in a direction that might be flowing against the cultural current but is profoundly aligned with what is most aligned and right for us.

Now over to you.

What is something that you KNOW is right for you that goes against what everyone else is doing, or what has been expected of you?

What do you do with that knowing?

Do you trust it? Follow it?

Or do you doubt it, override it, or ignore it completely?

To become a conscious creator of your life, and live authentically as yourself, you have to be willing to trust your inner knowing and truth – even when it doesn’t make sense.

You might disappoint people. And it might feel scary AF. 😱

But imagine what will open for you when you start trusting yourself and life in this way.

What could become possible if you let yourself be guided by the still small voice within that KNOWS you’re meant for something different, something extraordinary, something decidedly… MORE?

This is what choosing and honoring yourself is all about. The journey is uniquely yours, and it leads to different outcomes than the norm.

Choosing yourself is a pathway to the extraordinary.

But only you can choose YOU. Only you can choose extraordinary for yourself.

Is it time for you to choose you?

Lots of courage and love,

Alicia 

PS: If you’re ready to raise the bar, uphold higher standards in your life, create magic and live into what’s really possible for you, here are some ways I can support you today:

1. Follow me on Instagram here.
2. Download my free “Radical Permission” pdf here.
3. Connect with me in a 1-on-1 conversation and let’s discover what’s holding you back, where to begin, and how working with me can make all the difference. Simply contact me.