I did something recently that felt scary. 😳

It was business related – the specifics aren’t that important – and you’ll hear more about it in the coming weeks. 

What I want to share with you today is a bit about my journey of arriving at a full-bodied YES with it, and what it took for me to get to that place.

Here’s a little back story so things make more sense.

I’ve shared openly before about how important it’s been for me to find new ways of living and working that support my energy, health, priorities, and dreams. 

From where I stand today, this does not seem like a big ask, but in our toxic culture, it is more radical than it should be.

I was taught at a very young age to be an overachiever, no matter the circumstance. It’s no surprise that by my early 30’s I was already teetering on burnout. 😣

After the birth of my son and the dissolution of my marriage amidst my extreme health challenges (Oy, what a chapter that was…!), it wasn’t an option to keep working the way I’d always done. I simply couldn’t do it. 

But the thing is, I’d only had one way of working demonstrated to me.

You dive in, you go hard, and you keep going like that at all cost. End of story.

I don’t know whether to laugh or cry when I look at what I was taught. Because this is still the cultural gold standard for productivity and pride. 

My point is, something HAD to change because in my super sick, super stretched, super traumatized state, this way of working and productivity became impossible for me.

I did some research and tried many different methods of working, but I never found an already existing model for how to work and single parent a young kiddo from a super exhausted, nearly disabled place. 

What I needed didn’t seem to exist anywhere.

This meant that I had to find my way. 👑

Over time, I have. Even more importantly, my way of working and moving through the world continues to evolve and change as I do.

The most important thing for me in this entire process has been to re-learn how to really listen to my body and my priorities above everything else. 

This has been a game-changer for me.

Now, back to this scary business thing I recently did…

What I noticed with this recent opportunity was that part of me went into that former hyper-driven pattern of work-work-go-go-self-neglect-self-neglect. 

In response to just thinking about this new thing, my heart started to beat faster, and I felt my nervous system start to ramp up into those well-worn pathways of overwork and stress.

In response, I heard my body say, “DO NOT DO THAT!”. It made sense to me. I cannot, nor do I want to try and sustain that kind of strain to my body or life.

But with that clear NO from my body came an emotional response of disappointment and sadness.  😥

Because I was excited about this opportunity. When I thought about not doing it, I felt depressed, uninspired, and a bit trapped.

I felt that place inside where my ambition and my health have been at odds with each other for my entire life. 

And then I remembered – I get to do this thing my way. 💥

I don’t have to do it in the short timeline that’s been proposed (which is part of what feels stressful to my nervous system). 

I don’t have to compare my journey to anyone else’s, or get competitive, or wonder what’s wrong with me because I can’t do it like I see other people doing it. (How often do you do that?)

I get to have my own experience and feel good and listen to and honor myself all along the way. 

I get to say YES to the thing I want to do and stay in alignment with what my body says works best for it – even when that’s not how things are being modeled to me.

This made this scary opportunity a full-bodied YES for me. 

I know it’s something that gets to not only be exciting and life-giving, but it gets to be something that will keep taking me in the direction of more YESES.

I can be all in with something like that!

If you’re someone who has been living or working at the edge of a health challenge, burnout, or a full-on break down, know that your body is doing its best to get your attention to bring you back into alignment.

It might be a brand new alignment that you’ve never known (as it was for me). Or it might be an alignment that you once knew but have forgotten. 

(It’s easy to forget. Our culture expects and demands it.)

The key thing to remember is that your body, health, and vitality get to come first, even amidst your ambition, Type A, over-achieving tendencies.

This requires a new level of permission from yourself to do things in a way that works for you.

It also requires patience and courage to discover what your way is because it will likely be different than what you see everyone else doing. 

It can mean you operate from a different timeline than what has been proposed or is expected of you.

It could mean you have to slow down, give yourself time to heal, and really start listening to what YOUR way forward looks and feels like.

All of this can bring up all kinds of inner voices that feel judgmental and fearful – those voices that have kept you operating in a way that doesn’t truly work well for you for far too long.

I invite you to expect all of this, and more.

Because honoring yourself requires you to stay steadfast and true to yourself, your body, your energy, and what is right and good for you.

It asks for your willingness to deeply trust that in doing what is best for you, you are also doing what is best for everyone and everything you love.

This requires a level of self-love and respect you might not see anyone else around you offering to themselves… yet.

You might have to forge a new path for yourself that could become the inspiration someone else needs to start loving and honoring themselves more. 

Now over to you!

After reading all of this, what is moving inside of you?

What would it be like to find your way – a way forward that allows your ambition and health to work together for your highest good?

As always, please share your musings, thoughts, and discoveries with me. I love hearing from you and learning how my words are landing inside of you.

Simply reply to this email. I read every single one.

Remember that each time we question the status quo and find a different path forward that honors all of who we are, we are actively creating a new way of living and working that no longer requires self-erasure, pain, poor health, or subjugation. 

What we discover and put into practice will have ripple effects for generations to come.

How amazing is that?

Lots of love,

Alicia

PS: This is me around the age of 3 at the Oregon Coast. Those are chilly waters! This little girl really knew how to be Good. The Alicia of today is so happy she’s no longer being good for everyone else at the expense of herself! 😍

PPS: If you’re ready to give yourself a new level of permission, here are some ways I can support you right now:

1) For oodles of inspiration, follow me on Instagram here.

2) Download my free “Radical Permission” pdf here.

3) Connect with me in a private 1-on-1 conversation. Let’s discover what’s holding you back, where to begin, and how working with me can make all the difference. Contact me here.