A few years ago when Ocean was really young, I burst into tears when I realized I still needed to brush my teeth before I went to bed. The 7 steps to the sink felt too far, and I had zilch left in my tank.

I pushed through and cleaned my mouth before collapsing into bed, but I knew then my healing journey was going to take a loooonngg time. Sure enough, it did.

The one thing that was sorely lacking in my life at that time (and would still absent if I wasn’t intentional about it) was JOY.

When everything feels so damn hard, it’s really and truly difficult to feel joyful. 

But even if you’re an able-bodied, robust, full-of-vitality kind of gal, JOY can still feel elusive. 

(Uh, pandemic and lockdown anyone?!?)

Why is that?  

The first thing I’ll share with you is that our entire culture is oriented towards fear. If you watch the news, it’s all about what’s going wrong in the world. It’s a rare news piece that celebrates something good and beautiful. 

Even if you’re not a news watcher, this cultural tendency perpetuates a lot of stress, which spills over into how you relate with others, and life itself. 

When it comes to your relationships, notice how much you talk about what’s going belly up for you vs. what’s going well. 

Notice how acceptable it is in your relationships to talk about and share JOY. Do you ever feel like you can’t share when things are joyful in your life?
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​​This will tell you a lot about how much you orient to JOY vs. the other less than sparkly feels.

If JOY is something you want more of, it can be good to take stock of how much JOY you feel in your home or personal space. 

Does where you spend your time cultivate good feelings? Or do you resist or dread going there? 

This goes for your professional life and your finances, too. Is JOY being crowded out by worry, fear, stress, overwhelm, or resentment? Simply notice.

Take stock of the areas of your life where JOY is accessible and can be cultivated with ease. And while you’re at it, take note of where it remains elusive, or impossibly far away.

You can’t just wait for joy to happen. You have to be deliberate about it.

Like when I bought a turquoise tutu just because it made me happy. 😍

I don’t wear it very often, but it does take up some prime real estate in my closet and I see it every day. Each time I lay eyes on it, I grin. 

Because it’s goofy, and a bit ridiculous, but so, so fun.

And, voilà! JOY! 

It can be that easy to cultivate  a little, or a lot of JOY in your day.

You have to create space for JOY in your life, and you have to make it a habit to choose it every day. 

Otherwise, you’ll find yourself waiting, wondering why your life isn’t as happy, colorful or fulfilling as those people you follow on social media.

(Let’s take a brief pause and remember that nearly everyone’s social media feed is a highlight reel instead of the very raw and crazy that permeates their real lives. Whew. Thank you. I feel better. 😁)

Finally, there is one place where you can very simply access JOY, but only if you’re willing to let yourself go there.

That place is in your body. You access it through your senses and your presence.

I used to live a short distance from my body, ever on the edge of being in my body, but never quite taking up residence full time. 

As I was growing up, my experiences taught me it was safer to not be in my body. And so, I took that habit of being disembodied with me into adulthood.

Fast forward to today, I’m a very different woman. I live IN my body full time. I don’t run or avoid or even numb out. I’ve learned how to stay present, even when things get hard, and how to stay embodied when that old familiar urge to flee presents itself. 

I’ve also learned how to feel it all – even the most uncomfortable feelings I used to run from at breakneck speed – and to never abandon myself like I used to.

Today, I find JOY when I move my body – dance, Pilates, yoga, or a nature walk. I love to feel soft fabrics on my skin. The aroma of a homecooked meal, and the smell of my son’s hair always makes me smile. I love eating in a way that helps my body feel joyful. 

I receive regular bodywork which really elevates the joy I feel in my body. I even see a pelvic floor physical therapist every couple of months – now that’s a powerful way to learn more about and increase the JOY in your body! 😉

It’s all in the name of JOY.

You are most powerful, effective, and ALIVE when you are in your body. That’s where joy can be felt and experienced fully.

My invitation to you is to take a moment every day – perhaps even before you get out of bed – and ask your body what would feel joyful to it. You might be surprised by what you hear. 

Maybe it’s to wear that outfit you’ve been saving for a special occasion. Or to self-pleasure more often. To please stop wearing 4” heels… Or to drink more water, less caffeine. Maybe it’s to find any excuse to laugh until your face hurts!

Then, give your body and yourself that opportunity to experience JOY. 

You won’t regret it. 

JOY is always present. If you decide you’re going to find it, you will. 

It can be as simple as taking a twirl in a turquoise tutu, slowing waaaayyy down to eat your lunch, or sitting outside to watch a sunset.

By choosing JOY, you’re choosing yourself. 

Let’s choose more JOY, shall we?

Lots of love,

Alicia

PS:  I guide women to their most essential, authentic, unapologetic selves, especially when they are navigating big life changes, a health challenge, elusive body love, or relationship turmoil.

I have one opening for a private 1-on-1 client. Is this you?

If you’re ready, let’s connect. Simply reach out to me at: Alicia@AliciaMorrow.com  and we will find a time to talk.