Nearly two weeks ago I received news that my dad had suffered a stroke and was in the ICU. I dropped everything, and within 3 hours I was on a plane to fly and be with family.

For more than 72 hours we did not know if my dad would pull through. I’m very grateful to be able to tell you that although he has a long road of recovery ahead of him, it does look like my dad is going to live.

Times like these test us on so many levels. They are chaotic, jostling, difficult moments, but they also provide an opportunity for us to “check ourselves”. Because life… it’s happening each and every day. In the blink of an eye 20 years can go by and we can be left wondering… have I really been living my life?

I’ve asked myself a lot of big questions in the past couple of weeks:

Am I truly happy?
Do I feel fulfilled?
Am I clear on my priorities?
Am I living in alignment with what I value most?
What do I really, really want next?
Am I willing to be deeply honest with myself, face my fears and create what I desire… even if I fail in full-technicolor and glorious fashion?

We can fall into old patterns, comfort zones and even end up sleepwalking through our days if we aren’t checking ourselves regularly. Because life isn’t always easy. Sometimes doing whatever we can to feel safe, held and loved is exactly what we need to do.

But if your life is only about predictability, safety and security, there is a good chance you have a lot of living left to do. There is inherent unpredictability and risk is life. It can change in an instant and bring things into crystal clear focus. Or it can rearrange things into what seems like a total and utter disaster and complete disarray.

Amidst it all, only you truly know if you’re living in a way that honors and celebrates all of who you are, and all of the longings and desires that live in your heart.

I’m proud to say I’ve handled these past two weeks beautifully, honestly, and with incredible vulnerability, strength and poise. I have so many tools, truly incredible friends, and a support system that is just rock solid. I’m proud that I’ve deliberately created all of this for myself, because it hasn’t always been like this for me.

I’m also aware that amidst the constant requests of daily life right now, I need to rest, cry, shake, let myself fall apart a bit, dance, wail, paint, spend time outside and tend to myself. Because all of this has been a lot, and it’s important that I stay current with myself and my needs.

I invite you to do whatever you need to tend to yourself right now, amidst whatever life is throwing your way, too. What do you need to do to stay current with what’s happening inside of you? With what is true? With what is changing, what needs to be let go, and what wants to be created next?

A friend of mine reminded me that my word and theme for 2021 is “stronger” (often said with a ‘damnit’ right after…). I am becoming stronger. I’m also becoming more wise, resilient, trusting, flexible and loving.

Life can harden us or open us. I’m so relieved that I’ve chosen the latter again and again.

Maybe take some time today to check yourself and make sure you’re living your life, and not someone else’s idea of what your life should be. Maybe take some time to catch up with yourself, and get honest and real, so you can open to what is waiting for you.

Until next time, I’m sending you every goodness and joy and delight you can imagine. May you open to receive the beauty that is always present.

May you remember that your life is meant to be amazing. Even amidst the difficult passages of time.

Because the best is yet to come.

xx