I used to live a short distance from my body, never quite feeling at home or safe in my own skin.

This is a common experience for a lot of women, and there is a long list of very good reasons why women aren’t always comfortable living IN their bodies. It’s often a protective  and self-preserving reflex to leave.

And it can become an automatic and unconscious way that we move through the world.

But one of the things that is essential for healing, bringing our bodies back into balance, and feeling fulfilled in our lives is to learn how to be IN our bodies.

We are sensual beings, drinking in our lived experience through each of our senses. So, if we’re not IN our bodies to do that, we miss out on so much.

Yes, we might feel safer that way, but the reality is that we miss out on the joys and pleasures of being in a body. We also have a very hard time knowing how we feel about something, and what’s going on with our bodies because we’re not there to pay attention and “know”.

Now, some women feel quite confident that they are very comfortable in their bodies. They do yoga, or they are athletes or dancers. They feel they know themselves and their bodies very well, and they are surprised to hear they might still leave their bodies from time to time.

Did you know that consuming sugar, caffeine, and ultra-processed foods makes it more difficult to feel yourself and stay IN your body?

The stimulating effects of these 3 products can wind you up to the point where you don’t know what your body is saying to you.

They encourage you to go on autopilot, and cruise through life as if your body was there to merely hold your big, beautiful brain upright.

Now, the tricky thing about these 3 substances is that they are everywhere, and they are encouraged and accepted by our culture as simply the way you keep yourself going.

Let’s also not forget that sugar, caffeine and ultra-processed foods are inherently addictive, too, which makes them super seductive and easy to lean on when we need a pick-me-up to keep pushing through.

Ah, but pushing through? This is also a way that we leave our bodies. We override what our bodies are asking for – rest! – and the net effect is a disconnect from yourself, your body, and ultimately, your power.

There are other things that will get in the way of you staying connected to yourself and your body.

Things like social media scrolling, more than 6 hours of screen time a day, negative self-talk, and perpetual busy-ness can all be ways you leave your body.

Now, sometimes we need a break from the intensity of our lives. Sometimes it’s wonderful to binge watch all 3 seasons of your favorite Netflix show when you’re sick. It can feel amazing to get so involved in a passion project that you don’t realize 5 hours have flown by and you haven’t eaten lunch.

Leaving your body for periods of time is not ALL bad. But it is important to develop discernment and some sense of balance with it all.

First, we need to bring awareness to what it feels like when we leave our bodies, and what it feels like to come back. Very often we need to create a deep sense of trust – with ourselves first and foremost – that it is safe for us to be in our bodies.

And we need to practice spending more and more time there, always being gentle with ourselves along the way. For some women, it can be a process to come home to their bodies. Wherever you are with this is perfect. Keep going!

Then, as we develop a sense of safety and trust with ourselves and our bodies, we get to bring awareness to when we leave, and what might precipitate our departure. When we know we’ve left, we then get to discover our unique ways of bringing ourselves back from being disembodied when we find ourselves there.

We can start discerning how much of those things that encourage us to leave our bodies is too much for us. What is too much busy-ness for you? What is too much sugar? Ultra-processed food? Screen time, and the like.

Unearthing and returning home to ourselves is a process. Even though it’s not always a comfortable thing, especially when we begin, with the right kinds of support it can be a deeply beautiful journey that will empower us to make the very best, most aligned choices we can for ourselves.