One year ago this week I had a beautiful baby shower in my home. Friends and loved ones from all around the world came to celebrate me and my growing belly. It was a gathering of men and women that I feel honored to call my friends.

I’ve been thinking a lot about what’s happened in my life since that baby shower. It’s been one of those years that has really required everything of me on every level of my being. Believe it or not, there are still times when I forget all that I’ve been through and experienced.

It’s so easy for me to just get caught up in the busy-ness of my life and underestimate the magnitude of all that’s happened. It feels good and right to be reflecting in the ways I have these past few days, as a way of honoring my journey and myself. If there is one thing I’ve learned about who I am, it’s that I’m incredibly resilient.

I’ve been thinking about what I’ve gained, what I’ve learned, and those lessons that haven’t been entirely integrated just yet. I’ve been laughing, and crying, and considering all of it with great care. Looking back at all of the photos I’ve taken of Ocean in the past year has been a great way to remember it all, because his growth has really marked and mimicked my own.

I think I’m going to make a gratitude list for the past 12 months so that I can really name and appreciate what this chapter in my life has been and what’s it’s meant to me. I know I’ll look back at 2015 and 2016 as two incredibly pivotal years in my life, when everything fell apart, and everything came together.

Thank goodness.