I’m a planner. Not just your typical “put it into the calendar”, “make a list” kind of a planner… but a planner.

I’m someone who can see the 5,472 things that need to get done (and in what precise order) for something to go smoothly, or to get from here to waaayy over there.

This skill set has done so much for me. It’s allowed me to navigate life with a degree of preparedness and savvy that I’ve felt proud of, and that many people have marveled at over the years.

Some of this comes from the 3-month leadership course I embarked on in the mid-90’s where I lived outside in the wilds of Kenya. I, and a small group, learned to live in and navigate the spectacular terrain of Kenya’s mountains, bamboo forests, dense jungles, warm Indian Ocean waters, amidst all of the beauty and very real dangers therein.

I mastered a lot of the planning and preparedness skills that I’ve since transferred to my comparatively secure, comfy and safe life of today while on this course. They’ve served me so very well.

But I also know that a lot of this preparation, anticipation and planning comes from a deeper place of fear and trauma inside of me.

Planning has been a powerful way for me to try to ensure that I am ready just in case. Because I learned very early on that life can be super unsafe and unpredictable… so it’s best to be ready for anything.

I am in the process of letting this way of operating in the world go.

I know that I have these planning skills if I really and truly need them. They do come in handy when I’m preparing to travel, needing to manage something complex, or when I’m getting my son ready for a new school year.

But truthfully, this old way of trying to figure out everything in advance, plan for every contingency and estimate what’s going to happen… it’s just not working for me anymore.

It feels limiting, uninspiring, depleting and stale.

I think that right now a lot of women are bumping up against their old ways of doing things that, if they’re really honest with themselves, just no longer work.

Whether it’s feeling like you need to…

Plan and organize things to a super high degree (like I used to!)…

Or you constantly need to be busy and feel guilty or anxious if you’re not…

Or you routinely postpone what you really want because you haven’t “arrived” yet or you believe you haven’t earned it…

Or you’re buying into the age-old belief that once you’ve “made your bed” you have to lie in it…

If there is something that you’re doing or a way that you’re doing it that is draining you, feels toxic, creates an emotional hurricane for you, is something that you hate, or it keeps yielding the same disappointing results over and over again…

The truth is, it isn’t working for you anymore.

And if it’s not working for you anymore – even if it used to – now might be a really good time to ask yourself if it’s time to find a new way that does.

No matter the old pattern or belief or way of operating in the world, the way forward is to start honoring and choosing yourself every day – in as many ways as possible.

This may sound simple and easy, but it’s my experience that it’s anything but straightforward and clear. There’s far too much cultural conditioning, influence and reinforcement all around you to make choosing yourself easy as pie.

But when you know what to do to move yourself out of those stuck, dysfunctional places… it’s liberating beyond words!

You’ll hear more from me soon about the 3 essential ingredients to choosing yourself:
• Integrated Honesty
• Radical Permission
• Allying Your Fears

And how choosing yourself is the antidote to the core conflicts every woman fights with inside of herself.

Because when you choose yourself, you say yes to peace, wholeness and the deep fulfillment you’ve been longing for.

For now, I am practicing what I teach. I am choosing myself to an even greater degree than I ever have before. You won’t see me in your inbox for a couple of weeks while I revel in some delicious space and time for family, deep reflection, dedicated rest, time in nature, and breathing room.

In the meantime, feel into what Choosing Yourself could do for you, for your life, and for the things that you hold near and dear to your heart.

Imagine how Choosing Yourself could improve your health, creativity, relationships, and financial bottom line.

Ask yourself if there is a way you’ve been doing things that just isn’t working for you anymore, and if it’s time to find a new way forward.

Lots of love,

Alicia

PS: If you’re curious about what it means to really honor yourself, and how it’s different from how you’re living today, check out this free resource here! xx