I used to have a really hard time relaxing. Even when I went on vacation, it would take me 3 or 4 days to unwind and feel like I could let go a bit and rest. Then, just as I was starting to feel myself be able to really enjoy myself, it’d be time to go home.

I often felt like my vacations were about 2 weeks too short and happened far too infrequently.

The energies that are underneath this experience of being coiled so tightly inside that I couldn’t relax aren’t unique to me. I’ve also witnessed this same phenomenon in my clients, colleagues, friends, and nearly every woman I’ve ever met.

I believe that today’s modern woman is being motivated by both internal and external pressures to do something big with her life; to have an incredible impact that changes lives for the better; to leave an awe-inspiring legacy that people will look at with reverence and adoration.

I think this pressure comes from a place inside of every woman that wants to be seen, acknowledged, appreciated and celebrated as someone who is special.

This pressure of wanting to be exceptional can lead us into over-drive, perfectionism, misplaced ambition, and PROOVING ourselves. At an unconscious level, we go into push-force-create mode, all in the name of trying to garner the love that we didn’t get when we were younger because we weren’t perfect or special or worthy enough, in someone else’s eyes.

Because over time, that someone’s eyes became how we see ourselves.

When you’re busy constantly proving your likability, lovability, and worth, you can’t take a break or stop because if you do someone might think or say:

You’re lazy ( = unproductive = lacking in value)

You’re selfish ( = self-centered = unlikable)

You’re messy ( = imperfect = unlovable)

You’re incapable ( = less than = unwanted)

The idea that you have to PROVE your value and worth is a big misunderstanding many women carry inside of themselves, and it can be a big reason why resting, relaxing, and giving yourself permission to actually enjoy your life more feels so elusive to you.

Not being able to replenish and restore yourself on a regular basis has significant long-term effects on your health. It drains you, wears you down, makes you age faster than you’re meant to, and keeps you stuck in a place that, in all honesty, doesn’t feel good to you.

Sometimes our longstanding, unconscious fears drive us to be something or someone that we’re not. Sometimes our confusion and misunderstandings from childhood creep in and drive us to conform to being overly responsible to something that’s no longer right or good for us. Sometimes we can get lost in the feeling that we can’t ever get ‘it’ right, be loved, or be worthy of what we really want, no matter what.

Sometimes we feel anything but seen, recognized and special… especially when we haven’t figured out why we’re here and what big, amazing thing we’re supposed to be doing with our lives.

What if your purpose is about something entirely different?

What if simply, wholeheartedly living your life with presence and acceptance IS your calling?

What if your only true ambition was to be generous, kind and gentle with yourself? To accept yourself for who you are, how you do things, your unique speed, pace and rhythm, and to listen to and respond to the best of your ability to your interests, dreams and desires?

The most nourishing thing you could ever do for yourself – to start living your life, your way, for you– is also the only way that you will ever feel truly seen, acknowledged, and special. This is a gift that you give to yourself. You and only you can do this.

This isn’t to say that you can’t or shouldn’t do something phenomenal with your life that impacts thousands and gives you amazing opportunities to share your gifts, be appreciated and adored, and live a big life of impact and substance.

But what if doing these amazing things came from an entirely different place inside of you?

What if fulfilling your destiny strengthened and enriched you on every level while you inspired and supported others?

What if you could look and feel your best while you fulfilled your dreams, instead of trading one for the other?

How on purpose, aligned and special would you feel then?