Okay. Now I’m fighting my collage.

It’s meant to represent a bridge from where I am now to where I want to be. I found some images that evoked the feelings I have about where I’ve been and am now, and some other images for where I want to go and be this year.

But as I started to arrange them on the page I just felt such frustration. It feels like two different worlds, two different realities that are so far apart from one another.

Can you relate? Like where you are now is a million miles away from where you want to be? So I’m wrestling with this on the inside, and I’m bearing witness to something that is asking for my attention and care.

When I feel more deeply into this process, it seems like I have one foothold in the past, and one in where I’m going – like I’m straddling two worlds. I get the sense I need to integrate something more from my near-death experience. Like something there is still incomplete and doesn’t know how to move forward until it is completed.

It’s amazing to me that this art project is bringing this into my awareness like this – that I have unfinished business from my past that wants to me to tend to it so that I can move forward and fully into the life I’m creating.

I’m not sure what needs to happen here, and it feels really uncomfortable to be in this in-between, both here AND there, straddling two worlds kind of place. But I’ve become very good at being in the uncomfortable places that foster deep transformation. And this feels no different.