I recently had a technician come to my home to help me with some home maintenance things. I had hired the same company before and had positive experiences, so I felt confident in hiring them again to help with what I needed.

The technician showed up an hour early – something I was not prepared for – and when I mentioned it his response was less than friendly, less than professional.

Throughout our brief interaction, and as I showed him what I needed his help with, our interaction didn’t improve. 

I asked him if there was a problem, or if he needed something from me. His response was less than kind, less than professional.

He went out to his work van to get the equipment he needed, and I tuned into myself.

What was happening inside of me?

My heart was pounding harder than it usually does. My breath had become shallow. My nervous system was on alert. My stomach was tied in knots. I felt unsafe.

In the past I would have talked myself out of what my body was very clearly telling me. I would have not wanted to inconvenience the tech. I would have told myself my household needs were greater than my need for safety and kindness. I would have minimized my reaction. 

I would have tolerated this guy’s behavior and chalked it up to something that I just had to deal with to get my needs met.

Not this time.

Instead of focusing on the other person, I asked myself, “What do I need right now?”. The answer was very clear: I didn’t want this person in my house.

So, I acted on my own behalf. I walked outside and kindly told him I was going to have another technician come out. I thanked him for his time and went back inside.

It took me 10 minutes to calm my nervous system down, but when I did, I was super clear I’d made the right decision for me. I honored myself and my non-negotiable need for safety and kindness.

Anything less does not get to be in my house or my life – even if it’s for a household repair that will only take 30 minutes.

In this simple, everyday circumstance, I chose myself. 

I chose to listen to and honor what my body was telling me. I chose my personal peace over inconveniencing another. I chose to uphold my standards without compromising. 

I chose what I now know I get to have over what I used to believe I had to settle for.

Choosing yourself isn’t always easy. Sometimes it activates all kinds of fears, doubts and insecurities.

I am consistently amazed by how much Good Girl conditioning I get to confront and undo just to ensure I am treated with the respect and kindness I know I am worthy of.

Choosing yourself – and the standards and quality you desire – is such an essential part of creating a life that you love.

Too often we allow less than ideal things into our lives that we then have to fix, or support, or endure. When we raise the standards by which we make our decisions, and when we know what our priorities and non-negotiables are, we can take a stand for what is okay, and what is not.

The wonderful end to my story is that less than 45 minutes later, a new technician from a different company showed up at my house with kindness, professionalism, and a clear desire to do things to my liking and standards. It was also slightly less expensive, which was a wonderful gift!

This is what becomes possible in every area of life when we know our worth and make it clear that anything less is unacceptable.

What about you?

Where do you still settle for less when you know you want something better?

What are the biggest challenges you face when you entertain choosing yourself and your non-negotiables?

I love hearing from you, so share thoughts on this with me.

Lots of love,

Alicia

PS: If you’re ready to raise the bar, uphold higher standards in your life, create magic and live into what’s really possible for you, here are some ways I can support you today:

1) Follow me on Instagram here.

2) Download my free “Radical Permission” pdf here.

3) Connect with me in a 1-on-1 conversation and let’s discover what’s holding you back, where to begin, and if working with me could make a difference. Simply reply to this email and we will find a time to talk.