There’s a deep wisdom in seeking relief from the things in life that make us feel uncomfortable. We’re hardwired to avoid pain, and anything that lessens our distress is in fact a healthy choice. Knowing how to self-soothe is an important skill to have.

But if we’re not aware, we can get in the habit of choosing the quick fixes that simply relieve our discomfort, but never actually address the issue that is creating our pain in the first place.

Self-soothing is easy to do. It’s quick and simple to…

Numb out with the anesthetic of your choice – sugar, chocolate, TV, sex, alcohol, food…
Distract yourself with busy-ness
Push away the feelings
Love and light things into insignificance
Reach for a substitute for what really want
Settle for less
Pretend it doesn’t matter
Convince yourself you’re fine with the status quo
Accept the crumbs that we’re being given instead of facing our fear of starvation and loneliness

Self-honoring asks a bit more of us.

It asks us to slow down, listen, feel, trust, and respond accordingly.

It requires us to hold ourselves in the highest regard, and to behave as if we were a precious, important woman of value and worth.

It’s not a one-time decision. Self-honoring is a daily practice of self-discovery and delicious devotion to yourself.

I know how hard it can be to take a stand for yourself. So, this is what I’m taking a stand on for you:

I’m taking a stand for believing in the dreams and desires we’ve been told we can’t have, aren’t possible, or are just too much.

I’m taking a stand for following our innate wisdom instead of other people’s agendas, opinions, ultimatums and fears.

I’m taking a stand for questioning and overturning the assumptions, commitments, beliefs and concerns that leave us feeling exhausted, insignificant and trapped.

I’m taking a stand for living, working and achieving in a way that allows us to thrive, express ourselves fully, and feel deeply satisfied and fulfilled.

I’m taking a stand for feeling confident, vibrant, worthy, powerful, grateful and full of joy.

And, I’m taking a stand for life being simpler, more beautiful, and juicier than we’ve been told is possible for us.

I’m taking this stand for you because we live in a place and time when honoring ourselves is still a revolutionary act.

Women have been taught to abandon and sacrifice themselves, to please others at the expense of their health and happiness, and to be happy with living on the leftovers other people are willing to throw our way.

We’ve become accustomed to living with less because it feels too daring to want, let alone ask for more. On my own path of becoming a self-honoring woman, I’ve faced some of my deepest fears and made many bold decisions that have often flew directly in the face of what I was told I had to do, and who I was taught I was supposed be.

I’ve confronted some of my biggest fears along the way, even when I thought my life would completely fall apart in the process. I thought I was going to lose everything I’d worked so hard for if I chose to truly honor myself – friendships, love, professional credibility, financial resources, clients, and more. And so I became the self-soothing queen, until my self-soothing behaviors started to cause me serious pain and harm.

I made the courageous decision to take a stand for myself years ago, and I keep choosing to take that same stand for myself today. There is no substitute for being true to yourself. The more we choose to respect and trust ourselves, the better everything gets.

Self-soothing behaviors have their appropriate time and temporary place, but more often than not they are a poor substitute for what we really want and need most.

Self-honoring is the only way you will ever feel fulfilled, satisfied and truly happy. It’s the gateway and the path to a life of vitality, beauty and power.

You, and only you, can choose to take a stand for you. You get to say what is right for you and when. You get to choose when it’s time to start honoring you.

Just know that when you decide that settling, tolerating, numbing and self-soothing are no longer okay or enough for you, I am here for you.