Much like everybody else I know, my life has changed a lot in these past few weeks. I’ve been living a version of “social distancing” for years now due to a long-standing health issue, so my life has looked, and felt, quite small in recent times.

But the thing that has changed the most for me is that the very well thought out support system I’d created for myself and my son has almost completely and totally disappeared.

I’ve gone from having regular, amazing support as a single working mom, to being on my own to figure out how to balance my very important health needs, and the needs of my very active, very inquisitive, very energetic 4½ year old. Oh, and did I mention that we’re a screen-free home? My son doesn’t watch TV or get on the computer at all. So…

The transition, as abrupt as it was, has been challenging for me.

I realized pretty early on that I needed to do everything I could to ensure that I’m feeling good right now, because it’s so easy for every single waking minute of my life to be all about taking care of my young son… and I know that’s a recipe for personal devastation and exhaustion, as well as relational disaster.

I know I’m not the only single working mom out there, and as one, I’m aware that I’m damn lucky to have the things that I do have in my life. I have resources, I’m super creative, I have more craft supplies than most, I have plenty of food and toilet paper, and I’m self-aware enough to know when things are or aren’t working before they get super wonky.

And… to be super transparent, as much as I know what to do to support myself and take care of my little guy, I haven’t been perfect about it.

I’ve had a day or two when I haven’t showered or even gotten dressed. I’ve had a few mini meltdowns, usually when my son is also melting down and my nerves are a bit frayed. I even had cookies for dinner one night – they were my homemade, grain-free, no sugar, vegan chocolate chip cookies, and they were delicious!

But we all know that cookies are not a great dinner choice, no matter how “healthy” those cookies are!

So, as imperfect as I’ve been about things, here is what I’m doing right now to feel good and to ensure I’m being the best version of myself – for me, for my son, and for my community and clients.

1. I created a daily rhythm and schedule for myself and my son so that each day is similar, and so that we both know what’s happening and what’s coming next.

This means we wake up and get out of bed at the same time every day, eat our meals at regular intervals, have blocks of play time and rest time, bedtime is at the same predictable time every day, and I’ve managed to carve out some much needed personal time, too. I’ve designated specific days for cleaning and beautifying our home, and I’ve even planned for one day a way to be all about being super lazy and dreamy.

Why does this feel good to me? It feels good because it creates a sense of safety and security because there is predictability to our days. And, we’re both bathed, dressed, and living in a clean house, which is a huge win over here!

*Note: I let our rhythm and schedule slide for a couple of days, and it was absolute chaos and pandemonium here. My son melted down 6 times that day, and I thought I was literally going to go insane by 3pm. When I implemented this structure back into our days again, things immediately calmed down and have felt much more manageable and fun.

2. I’m exercising and moving my body every day, often multiple times a day.

Each morning before breakfast I do a 45-minute workout – yoga or walking or stationary bike + core strengthening exercises – while my son plays and/or listens to kid’s audio books.

Why does this feel good to me? I get a nice little sweat and glow going, I feel good in my body, my self-esteem and self-respect get a healthy boost, and then we start our day together.

My son is not-quite 5 years old, so he has more energy than he knows what to do with. So, in addition to my morning workout, when the weather allows, we get outside a couple of times a day and go for walks, bike rides, kick the ball in the park, and more. It does us both so much good to be so physically active. And getting outside and out of the house feels like a real gift right now.

3. I’m eating healthy, balanced, delicious meals every day (minus the cookie incident I mentioned above…).

I’m a chef, so I know how to plan and shop and prep and batch cook things to make mealtimes easier and quicker. It also helps that my son is an adventurous eater, too. He eats a variety of foods that blows most people’s minds. I’m grateful for that, and I make sure that everything tastes good.

He eats broccoli, beets and Brussel sprouts because they tastes good! And everything that goes into our bodies is as healthy and enjoyable as it can be.

We also enjoy homemade, very healthy desserts, and I eat a near-daily dose of fair trade, stevia sweetened, organic chocolate, too. This is because I believe food is meant to nourish us on every level. And being nourished like this feels really, really good.

4. I seek out inspiration, beauty and positivity, and I take each of these things very deliberately into my heart, every day.

Whether it’s a beautiful song, the flowers blooming in my yard, a magnificent photograph or work of art in a book or online, a quote, a podcast, something someone posts on Instagram, or a book I’m reading, I’m constantly seeking things that will uplift, enhance and fortify me from the inside out.

This feels good to me in ways I don’t even know if I can properly explain. What I do know is that, for me, a life without beauty, inspiration and positivity feels very bleak and dark. But a life that’s punctuated with fresh flowers, bright pops of color, poetry, kind words, soft snuggly blankets, bigger picture thinking, and even a motivating rock anthem or two… that’s the kind of life I enjoy the most.

5. I practice gratitude throughout the day, and get my son to play along, too.

Each night, to bookend my day and set the tone for my nightly rest and dream time, I list out the things I’m grateful for – a funny moment with my son, a warm, snuggly bed, soft cashmere socks and wool slippers, fresh strawberries, heartwarming conversations with friends, an inspired piece of writing I was able to get on to paper that day, among others. I also practice this when I find myself feeling gloomy or wanting to complain.

I ask my son to name 3 things he’s grateful for when he starts complaining, too. This feels good to me because it shifts how I’m feeling almost instantaneously and helps me focus on what’s good instead of what isn’t, or what’s missing. What we focus on grows. It feels good to focus on things that are good, things that are working well, and things that are a privilege to have and enjoy.

6. I energetically clean my home on a regular basis.

The easiest way for me to describe this is to say that there are spaces in our homes that can start to feel energetically “heavy”, or “congested”, “dark” or even “dirty”. It’s not something you can necessarily see, but it is something that you can feel – especially after you’ve cleaned a space in this way!

There are many ways to energetically clean and clear a space like this – going in to each room and smudging with sage or sweetgrass, drumming or ringing bells, using tuning forks or sounding crystal bowls, my violet flame cleansing technique (there’s not enough room here to share it, but it is super effective for energetically cleansing a space!), and more.

Here’s why it feels so good: even if you dust and scrub and mop and vacuum a space, it will look physically clean, but it might still feel heavy, or dark, or negative in some unseen yet slightly palpable way. Energetically cleaning your home can literally shift the vibration of a space and home, support you and your loved one to feel more at ease and peace, to rest more soundly, eliminate arguing and fights, and enhance the overall positivity and optimism everyone has, and that feels really, really good.

7. I’m being super gentle and generous with myself right now.

I’m a classic overachiever. I seem to almost reflexively set very high standards and expectations for myself wherever I go, with whatever I do. This has served me very well over the years, and there are times when it’s driven me into a state of exhaustion and inadequacy.

One of the things I’ve done in my life since my son was born has been to simplify things a lot. I’m clear on my priorities, and I stick to those most of the time without adding a lot of “extra” things in to the mix. In these last few weeks I’ve also – wait for it – lowered the bar for myself considerably.

This may sound blasphemous but hear me out. Instead of expecting myself to take my business to a whole new level, launch a program, learn a new language, paint my masterpiece, do and promote planet-changing charity work and find a cure for COVID-19, all while being a woman who is still healing from a long-standing illness and solo parenting… I’ve told myself that what’s most important right now is what’s right in front of me.

I’m just going to do MY SON AND I really, really, really well right now. And that’s enough.

It’s not super ambitious. It’s not transforming the coaching industry or taking the world by storm (which is what I often feel like I should be doing). However, it is ensuring that I’m here to support myself, my son, my clients and my community. I trust that this is enough right now. I trust that I am enough right now. And this feels really good to me.

What are you doing right now to feel good? What’s working for you? What’s not? Where do you get stuck, find yourself struggling, and question your purpose and life?

I’d love to hear from you! We’re all in this together, and any tips that you have and want to share are gratefully received. I read every single one.

And…

If you’re looking for more tips, tools and inspiration to navigate this challenging time, so that you can…

Love and honor yourself more
Feel good in your body and your life
Fill your cup
Renew your vitality
And emerge from this time feeling fresh, powerful and ready for whatever comes next…

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