At age 45, I see desire very differently than I did when I was younger. I used to feel like I had to defend or justify my desires because they usually fell outside of what I’d been taught was socially acceptable and appropriate.

Sometimes I felt ashamed of my desires, especially when they didn’t adhere to the strong social constructs all around me.

I frequently felt like my desires meant…

I was too much
I was too big
My desires were too big
I wanted too much
I was selfish for wanting more
Others would judge me if they knew I wanted more
I needed to be more realistic and rational
I’d never get to have what I really wanted…so why bother

Often it felt easier to just ignore, deny and numb out to my desires. In all honesty, I was terrified by how powerful they were, constantly feeling both enamored and repulsed by them. They were fun to entertain, but painful to feel at the same time.

My relationship with desire isn’t unusual. Most of the clients I work with have big dreams and strong desires that are met with equal amounts of guilt, resistance, shame and fear. My guess is your relationship with desire might also be in need of an upgrade. Because desire itself is so universally and deeply misunderstood.

Maybe you want…

Financial freedom and flexibility
Relationships that support, encourage and inspire you
A deeply satisfying sex life
Work that fulfills you and makes a valuable contribution to the world around you
More strength and stamina every day
Greater health, vitality and beauty
To feel beautiful, sexy and confident in your own skin
Permission to be yourself – all of yourself – all of the time
Or something more, something bigger, something that changes everything for you for the better

No matter what your history has been with desire – whether it’s been filled with pain and hopelessness or promise and pleasure – your desires are here for a very important reason.

Your desires are here to ignite, enliven, and inspire you with life itself.

When you cut yourself off from desire, you cut yourself off from one of the most powerful sources of inspiration, vitality, exuberance and passion there is. Your desires are such an important, essential and necessary part of who you are.

They are a voice of wisdom, calling you toward your best self, and your best life. And as such, it’s important to learn how to heed that desire when it arises.

A self-honoring woman has learned that her desires are here to help her evolve through the process of pursuing the desire itself… not necessarily in the actual manifestation of it.

She has learned that when she honors her deepest longings, she simultaneously comes home to herself. And when she is home in herself, she is the most fulfilled, happy and whole she can be.

So, what is one desire that you have? A desire that never leaves you and maybe feels edgy, or even a bit scary to you?

If you lean into that desire and really feel it, listen to it, and allow it to speak to you, what do you notice? Do you feel a surge of energy run through your body? Do you feel enlivened just by touching into it and acknowledging the truth of it?

This is the first step in honoring your desire. Lean in and discover for yourself how important desire is to you.