My 50^th birthday was yesterday! 🌟

Maybe it’s because of my age, or maybe it’s just who I am, but I’ve been quite reflective in recent weeks.

I’ve been thinking about the wisdom I’ve collected over the years, and how my perspective about so many things continues to evolve as I do.

I read a quote recently that said, “Wisdom is healed pain”. That one resonated as truth.

Rather than share my usual thoughts on health and wellness this week, I thought I’d share 7 pieces of wisdom I’ve gleaned over my now 5 decades of time on this planet.

I am no guru, but I have learned some things along the path I’ve walked – things that have proven valuable to my journey of growth and evolution, but also on my journey of healing my body. The two are more connected than any of us might realize.

1. What you eat, the supplements you take, the water you drink, the sleep you get… all of these are the foundations for caring for your physical body. But we are not physical bodies alone. We are thinking, feeling, constantly communicating and responding bodies, too. We must also factor in the deep impact that self-silencing, self-abandonment, and self-repression have on our vitality and health. The more in alignment we can be with our genuine thoughts and feelings, and with what our bodies need, the better our health outcomes will be. The more we suppress and repress what is true for us, the greater the pressure and suffering the body must endure. It adds up over time, leaving damage in its wake.
2. When it comes to interpersonal conflict, love isn’t always the answer. As crazy as that sounds, the truth is that some people interpret love as a threat, and with those kinds of people, there is nothing you can do to change that. Instead of directing that love outward, direct it toward yourself. Give yourself the care and love you’ve always been worthy of but waiting for someone else to give to you. Then, establish some healthy Self-Honoring boundaries with those folx who can’t distinguish between love and malintent. If they interpret love as a threat, it’s not worth sticking around to find out what else they might contort and twist.
3. We often jump into forgiveness long before we’ve even felt our feelings about whatever we are trying to forgive. Calling on atonement – At-One-Ment – is a different approach to create the peace we’re seeking through forgiveness. At-One-Ment is NOT some form of karmic retribution for a wrong. It’s about bringing the distorted energy of pain, judgment, fear or shame into its rightful alignment so grace and peace can reside there instead. At-One-Ment is a powerful tool to use when you know you’re never going to receive an apology you deserve, or when a situation remains painfully unresolved. At-One-Ment energy can shift the situation dramatically for you, freeing you up from any binds to that person or situation that may have formerly kept you feeling tethered and trapped.
4. Denial is a powerful protective mechanism that will serve you well – especially if you are living in painful or intolerable circumstances of any kind, or you’re in survival mode. But over time, denial can also hold you in a place of suffering. It’s good to recognize BOTH can be simultaneously true. When you are ready to face and feel what you’ve been unable to deal with, you will see how well denial was insulating you. Sometimes it’s not just your own pain, but generations of denial that have brought you to that moment in time. As daunting as it may feel to let the denial go, the freedom that lives on the other side of naming and feeling what is true is something I wish more women could experience for themselves.
5. Pivoting your attention away from hurtful people and painful things is a life is a skill I believe every woman can learn. Pivoting is a practice – especially if you have a long-standing pattern of focusing on dysfunction and pain, trying to change it, or engaging people who are themselves in a great deal of pain – maybe as a would-be-helper, or to commiserate. You are worthy of joy and goodness – these are your birthright. But you must put your energy and attention where joy and goodness reside, instead of where they do not. Like cultivating a garden, you must give your life force to that which you want to see grow and flourish.
6. Whatever you are not changing, you are choosing. Read that again.
7. There is never a good reason to lower your standards, even if someone or something tries to convince you otherwise. For too long women have been taught they should feel proud if they’re “low maintenance”, don’t ask for or need much, and can smile through their quiet suffering. ENOUGH. Raise your standards early and adjust and readjust often, always in the direction of higher, never lower. High standards convey to others what is and is not acceptable to you. Hold those standards high and expect the right people to meet you there. They will.

Perhaps there is something in here that will serve you well this week!

My wish is that these kernels of wisdom deepen your awareness and grant you even more permission to be yourself, choose yourself, and live for you.

Even if you have children, a partner and a career – everyone and everything benefits from you being the most authentic and beautiful version of YOU.

So, go on then. Follow your heart. Trust yourself. You’re worth it.