This week I thought I’d share a little snippet from my life – something that I think you’ll relate to, even if you’re not a mother. It’s something that’s vitally important for women today when it comes to living your life in a way that feels good to you.

It’s so important, in fact, that when you do this one thing, you’ll feel energized and alive. And if you fall into the trap of not doing it (which I’ve fallen into time and time again, by the way) you’ll inevitably feel depleted, drained and disappointed.

Let me preface this little story by saying that I LOVE my time with my son. I know these early years are more valuable than gold, and I know I won’t ever get this precious time with him again. I love watching Ocean’s personality emerge and bearing witness to the brilliance of this little human that I helped bring into the world.

AND I’d be completely lying if I said to you that I don’t ever need a break.

The truth is that I DO. I need breaks from my son so that I can evaluate how things are going and how my parenting approach is working (or not). I need space to feel myself, tend to my own needs and fill my cup so that I can be the amazing mama that I love being. I need time to get things done, take care of household tasks and organize myself so that life runs more smoothly and efficiently (something I also love).

So, as preschool started up this year for my son Ocean, I quickly became very excited and attached to the idea of having more time and space to myself while he’d be in preschool 3 days during the week. I started filling that time with appointments, tasks to be accomplished, and a sense of spaciousness that I hadn’t felt for weeks since preschool ended for the summer break.

And then, the evening before Ocean’s would-be first day of school, he became ill. I immediately saw all of my plans for myself and “my time” evaporate, and with it my enthusiasm. I’d become so attached to having that time to myself that I reacted in a not-so-evolved kind of way.

I moped a bit. I felt indignation, frustration and, if I’m totally honest, I felt a little victim-y too (I frequently go into feeling like a victim when things don’t go according to plan – not very evolved, but true!).

Isn’t this what we do sometimes? We get overly attached to an idea, an outcome or an experience before it’s even arrived, and then when things don’t go “our way”, it can feel like all of the air has been sucked out of our lungs.

Upon some self-reflection, here is where I can see things went awry for me:

When I stopped living in the present moment, and fixated on the time I was going to get at a future moment, I started to fantasize about and long for what would be. I placed my power and my good feeling state in a future moment in time.

And then, when that future didn’t arrive I felt cheated, powerless and like I’d never get to live my life (oh the things we tell ourselves when we don’t get our way!).

Without even realizing it, I’d stepped out of my Power Spot and into self-pity, which is not a good feeling place at all.

I had a little “woah-is-me” party for about 3 hours, and then I started doing the one thing that always shifts me out of these not-so-good-feeling states: I got really present with what was happening, and I let go of all of the “shoulds” that I’d attached to the plans I’d made that were no longer going to happen.

When you let go of what you think SHOULD BE and instead get really honest with yourself about what IS, you connect to a power and an energy inside of yourself that you can’t access any other way.

When I shifted my focus to the new present-time reality of my life, I immediately felt more energized and alive. I started appreciating the cozy time with my son instead of pining for the “me time” I wasn’t going to get. I told myself I’d get to do those things another time (which is completely true), and I concentrated instead on how I could make the most of the time I had with my little guy.

I stepped back into my Power Spot by shifting my attention, and I felt instantly better about myself and my life.

I invite you to consider where you might be placing your good feeling state on a future moment in time that isn’t here yet.

Here’s to being powerful in the present moment, and to loving yourself and your life all along the way – no matter the curve balls life might throw at you!

With power and love,

 

 

PS: We’re talking about many different topics that are all related to living your life from your Power Spot here. Come join the conversation, share your wisdom, and receive even more wisdom from this beautiful online community!