I’ve been attending regular Pilates classes for months now, and I had a major breakthrough this week that left me in a teary state of joy and appreciation.

In case you’re not familiar, Pilates is a form of exercise that focuses on very precise, controlled movements that engage the deep core muscles of the body. It’s been part of my rehabilitation routine since having Ocean, and it’s been an incredible way for me to restore a lot of strength, awareness and deep trust in my body again.

What I experienced this week was something beyond what I normally feel after a class. I had a very visceral experience inside of my body of how my body has been holding on to a pattern and posture that looks and feels a lot like bracing for an impact.

If you can imagine in your mind’s eye the posture your body takes on when you know you’re going to carry something heavy, or when a large weight is placed on your shoulders, or when you’re trying to protect yourself and shield your vital organs… Deep in my body, joints and tissues, this is the posture I’ve been holding for as long as I can remember.

I’m slowly breaking free, on a very physical level, of this limiting pattern!

Through the guidance and care of the instructors I’ve been working with, I’m teaching my body that this posture of bracing and protecting can actually relax, open up, and look like something else. When I imagine helium balloons under my collarbones, I instantly feel lighter. When I remind my shoulders, rib cage and sternum that they’re not under the weight of a heavy load, voilà! I immediately feel more radiant and free.

I’ve arrived at a place in my life today where I know I get to choose if I want to continue to brace against life, or if I wish to instead greet it with buoyancy and lightness.

Sometimes these patterns run so deep inside of us, that we don’t even know that they’re happening. And if you don’t know that these patterns are happening inside of you, you likely don’t know that you have a choice to have a different, more pleasurable, deeply liberating experience. All you know is what has been.

This is a theme I see over and over again with the women that I work and speak with every day. At some point in time, often at a very tender age, you made a decision (sometimes many decisions) to act, respond or be a certain way to try and prevent something painful from happening again. It makes sense, doesn’t it? It’s completely normal and quite sane to want to prevent further pain.

Maybe you chose to be forever tough and resilient in the face of uncertainty, intense drama, and chaos. Perhaps you chose to not need anyone by being incredibly resourceful, courageous and independent. Maybe you chose to be the responsible one – for yourself and everyone else around you. Or maybe you chose to bury yourself in being super successful and high achieving – even if it meant you sacrificed your beauty, happiness and health along the way.

But does this action, response or decision still serve you today? Does it feel good to you? Is it taking you where you want to go? Or is it asking to be updates, upgraded and elevated?

Whatever it is that you chose, and whatever that looks like in your life today, I’d like to ask you to take a moment to feel your body. Your body never lies, and it has so much wisdom to share with you.

Close your eyes, take three nice deep breaths, and feel your bones. Notice your muscles in your shoulders, neck and jaw. Feel deep into your belly and notice how much tightness lives there. How deep or shallow is your breathing? Are you unknowingly holding tension in your thighs? Feel the bottoms of your feet and the palms of your hands. To they feel taught or poised for action?

Take 30 seconds and simply notice and feel. What does the state of your body tell you?

Do you feel buoyant, light, happy and free in your body? Or do you feel like you’re bracing against something – maybe it’s uncertainty, or stress, or that sense of overwhelm and fear of what might happen if you’re not constantly pushing, creating, and making things happen in your world?

There is nothing wrong with bracing. There is a perfect time to brace. There’s a time to put forth massive effort and push, when necessary, too.

But these states of bracing and pushing aren’t sustainable, nor are they pleasurable! You might feel that lovely rush of adrenaline when you accomplish something big, have a super productive day, or birth something gorgeous into the world. But it’s not meant to be your everyday, moment-to-moment norm. And yet it’s become what we expect of ourselves.

Your body and mind aren’t meant to sustain that state, and deep in your heart and soul, you know this to be true.

It’s important to remember that you require time and space to feel yourself and your life; to ask what’s working and feeling good, and what’s not; to let go of the things that are weighing you down, and to align with the things that light you up.

You require laughter, play and uninterrupted pauses in your day to sink into and be nourished by the beauty that is always around you.

You require pleasure, desire, and the sweet seduction of life itself. If you feel like you’re stuck or struggling in any area of your life, or if you feel triggered or intensely reactive to something, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant, know that this requires your attention. It’s a sign that you made a choice a long time ago, and that choice now needs to be updated to serve and support the woman that you are today.

Time, space, pleasure, laughter, play, desire and uninterrupted pauses… These are the things in life that buoy the woman that you’re meant to be.

They will make you feel weightless and free, they’ll show you how to become magnetic to everything you desire, and they’ll help you enjoy it all without feeling like you need to do or be anything to earn or deserve it.

So, do you feel yourself bracing? Or do you feel buoyant? And what will you choose from this moment forward?

I’d love to hear your thoughts about this in the comments on my blog, here. Your life is meant to feel good to you. Are you enjoying it?

I’m sending you bright pink roses and dark chocolate wishes for a buoyant, beautiful weekend!