The holidays are an incredibly busy time of year. It’s also a time when the days are shorter (in the northern hemisphere), so it’s quite common to feel like your body needs more sleep. However, most women I know are actually doing more and getting less sleep than usual.

Lack of adequate and restful sleep, coupled with holiday parties, school plays, shopping lists, family gatherings, crowded shopping malls, wrapping gifts, shipping boxes, work deadlines and don’t forget the common sugar roller coaster (holiday cookies and drinks, anyone?)… It can be quite easy to slip into overwhelm and go through the holidays like you’re on autopilot.

Then there’s the common scenario many women find themselves in during this time of year. Being single during the holidays can bring on heartache, and heartache can bring on a multitude of creative coping mechanisms that are meant to help soothe (and numb) loneliness.

Family gathering are an additional stress for many. Whether you’re hosting one or attending as a guest, family dynamics can be particularly trying and draining when you already feel like your rope is unraveling a bit.

The good news is that there is an antidote to all of this, and it’s well within your reach. Connecting with the beauty in your heart is the key to navigating the holidays with poise and a smile on your face that no one can erase.

Here are my top 9 tips for staying connected to the beauty in your heart – during the holidays and beyond.

1. Begin by taking the time to get clear on how you want to feel. This may not be a new concept to you, but it is something very powerful and simple that can get overlooked when life gets full and busy. Remember you, and only you, get to choose how you want to feel. If you don’t make a conscious choice for yourself about this, you will find yourself reacting to life instead of staying connected to beauty regardless of what shows up in your life.
2. Make your self and self-care a priority. When life gets busy and there are more demands on your time and energy, self-care and time for your self are almost always the first things to go. But when you deny the importance of self-care, you diminish your connection to beauty, both internally and externally. Imagine how different you’ll feel during this busy time of year if you actually honored your personal needs first? This does require that you set aside time for yourself in your schedule, but it’s something that you will never regret doing.
3. Celebrate yourself and the season by adorning yourself in a way that enhances your beauty. Think about how great you feel when you get your hair done (I know I’m not the only one!). Now consider taking that great feeling and carrying it throughout the holiday season by choosing to present the best you to the world. This doesn’t have to take a lot of time – sometimes it’s a matter of wearing a cute accessory or changing up your make-up or hairstyle for the day – and it can really make all of the difference in how you feel about yourself and how others perceive you.
4. Invite the sacred into your holiday season. You may have time-honored traditions that come from your family of origin or your religion. Or, you may not have anything in your holiday season that feels particularly spiritual. This is one of my key tips to staying connected to beauty, not because I want to convince you that you have to be religious or spiritual, but because I know firsthand how much beauty lives in the things we hold sacred and dear. Church or temple services can help you to align with the deeper reason for the season. Beautiful music, time for prayer and/or meditation, my 13 Holy Nights practice or even reading a book about bringing presence (not presents…) to your every day – all of these things will infuse beauty, deep meaning and soul into your holiday experience.
5. Give to others in a way that feels good to you but is not over-extending yourself. Exchanging gifts is a common practice during the holidays, but if you have ever found yourself feeling depleted, exhausted or resentful at the end of it all, these are all signs that you are giving in a way that is out of balance. Honor yourself by staying within your budget and giving only what you really feel you want to give (this is different from what you can give). This may feel like it flies in the face of how you’ve given gifts in the past, but feel the difference here. Giving from a place of desire vs. obligation will help you stay connected to your beauty in ways that you may never have imagined. You can also bring creativity into your gift giving this year. Perhaps giving your time, or creating an experience instead of giving a physical gift will feel refreshing and more accurately represent the beauty, love and generosity that is in your heart.
6. Receive the love that others give to you. There is a very popular saying: “To give is better than to receive.” But receiving allows you to fill up your cup with the love someone else has for you. It’s also a way to honor the other person and the beauty that is in their heart. Receiving can feel foreign and uncomfortable at first. But trust me when I say that this is a very powerful way for you to connect to the beauty in your heart. It will also exponentially increase the amount of beauty in every area of your life because you are choosing to allow it in!
7. When you are shopping for others, be certain to gift yourself something special this holiday season, too. This is something that may feel controversial to you. You may hold a belief that Christmas gift giving should be all about everyone else. But what would it be like to include yourself on your shopping list? What would it be like to give yourself something special with the same love and attention that you are giving to others? This is also a powerful opportunity to elevate the level of beauty and luxury in your life – think comfort, quality, unique and extraordinary. Watch what happens when you give yourself the beauty that you give to others.
8. Spend time with those who fill you up, inspire and uplift you, and who feel like “your tribe”. When you spend time around people you admire, you enhance your personal beauty exponentially. If you are in a positive and exhilarated space, you can offer and share that with others. This is one of the most powerful ways to stay connected to your limitless potential and beauty. You may also wish to limit time around those who don’t energize and enhance your life, and to do so without guilt, apology or regret.
9. Let pleasure lead the way. This is a joyful time of year! But if you have a habit of denying yourself pleasure, or making yourself feel guilty for enjoying things that are pleasurable, you are curtailing and disconnecting from the beauty that lives inside of you. The holidays are a special time of year when we enjoy special things – foods, people, gatherings, events – and it is okay to indulge, it’s okay to splurge, it’s okay to do things you wouldn’t normally do as long as you can keep it pleasurable. Too much indulging and splurging, of any kind, can actually be painful. Stay in the pleasure of it all and keep your finger on the pulse of moderation. How do you know you’ve crossed the line into pain? Ask yourself if you feel more or less alive and beautiful by having indulged or splurged. If your answer is “less alive and beautiful”, then you have likely diverted yourself away from pleasure, and you have diminished your beauty.

From my heart to yours, may these tips assist you in enjoying the holiday season in the most beautiful, luxurious and soulful ways ever!