These are potent times. We’re being stretched in ways we never saw coming. And so many women who were once focused on asking, “What do I want?” and “What’s my dream?” are now asking different questions…
How do I do this new thing?
How am I going to survive?
How do I make it work?
Will I ever feel like I did?
How do I make time for me?
What’s going to happen next?
Am I, are we going to be okay?
With so much happening, so much intensity, and so much being asked of you, it can feel harder than ever to feel yourself, respond to your own needs, and do anything beyond manage and cope.
When so much of your attention and energy is going out, and there’s so little space and time for it to go inward, it’s helpful to have simple steps to come home to yourself. Because when you come home to yourself you come home to your passion, power and creativity, and what’s real and true – beyond the cacophony of life today.
Here are 4 steps to come home to yourself:
Tend to your body. Your body is where you live. It’s a temple, and the vessel that houses your spirit. It’s also the thing you’ve likely been taught to mistrust, doubt, and override when demands and pressures from the outside world get loud and things just need to get done.
So, if you feel yourself swirling a bit, on the brink of overwhelm, and exhaustion is knocking on your door, tend to your body. Yes, sleep enough, elevate the quality of what you’re eating, drink enough water, and move your body in ways that feel good to you.
And then, take it a step further.
Unplug from emails, messages and screens, then tend deeper. Give yourself a massage with some yummy smelling body oil or lotion. Take a hot bath or shower at the end of your day. Put on some soothing music and stretch for 10-20 minutes. Put your legs up the wall and just lie there. Bring your focus to your breath and your body and just breathe. Really breathe.
When there are more demands on your time and energy like there are today, it’s more important than ever to come back and stay rooted in yourself, in your body, and in your full experience of now. From this place you’re better able to make decisions, change directions and respond to life.
However you can, in the best ways that you can, tend to your body.
Feel yourself. One of the ways we cope with how quickly everything is moving in our lives is by living almost exclusively from the neck up. Honestly, a lot of the time we’re living like our bodies were made just to hold up our heads. Thankfully, you and I both know that’s not true.
And, even though we know it’s not true, if we want to come home to ourselves and that one place where our power and clarity can be found, we have to be more deliberate and intentional about tuning into what’s happening inside of ourselves.
Lie down on the floor, or your bed. Bring your attention to the energy and sensations that are moving through your body. Just notice. Let yourself feel your hunger or fullness, your heart rate, your fatigue, your excitement, your body temperature, your thirst, your discomfort, your ease. Just feel.
Even though your body is incapable of lying to you, it’s easy to override what’s happening inside of yourself. For right now, don’t fight what’s happening inside of you. Don’t try to make sense of it or minimize it in any way. Feel your body. Feel your emotions. Just feel yourself.
Acknowledge what’s true. The only way to create change is to acknowledge the reality of the present moment – not what we want it to be, think it should be, or what we thought it was. So, what is true for you right now? Do you feel sadness and grief? Anger or worry? Joy, excitement and awe? Are you feeling stressed out? Dread? Or is your stomach in a tangle of knots?
We’ve become accustomed to creating a reality in our minds that is often in direct opposition to what we’re experiencing in our bodies. This is how we override the truth of a situation or circumstance and slip into justifying and tolerating things that are actually quite toxic to us – be they relationships, work hours, unhealthy environments, food choices, etc.
In order to really come home to ourselves, we have to let the interpretation and experience of our mind align with whatever our body is experiencing. So, if your body is tense, my breathing is shallow, I’m struggling to sleep at night and I’m sweating, these are all signs that my body is in a significant stress response. Your mind might tell you not to make a big deal of it, to get over it, to just push through, but none of these things are actually congruent with what your body is telling you.
When we acknowledge what is true – this situation is stressing me out! – then we’ve come home. We’re in a much better position to make a decision about what is best for us. Because fighting or negotiating with ourselves and denying what is true serves no one. What truly serves is to acknowledge what is true and to respond accordingly in the very best way possible.
Ask for what you need. Many women have become accustomed to not getting their needs met. Rather than go through the disappointment of yet another need going unmet, they just don’t ask for what they need. Two things happen when we do this: 1) Our load gets heavier than it already was, and 2) We start to become numb to our needs.
The reality is, we all need. And we all need a lot. When we ignore or deny those needs, we start to live more outside of ourselves than inside of ourselves, and that sets us up for so many problems down the line – shame, depression, depletion, dis-ease and more.
Despite what anyone has told you, there is no harm in needing. There is no harm in asking, either. And, regardless of the response you receive to your ask, you’ve done something incredible. You’ve gotten in touch with yourself and what’s going on for you, and you’ve taken a step to advocate for yourself by asking for what you need – both of which mean you’ve come home to you.
Once you ask for what you need, you’ll find yourself in a new place – where you no longer abandon or judge yourself for asking or needing, but instead you honor what is true for you. From this place, you can make decisions that are far more grounded, empowered, and real because you’ve come home to yourself.
The truth is, if we’re not connected and at home with ourselves, we can’t actually function properly. We can’t make great decisions. And it’s impossible to truly feel alive.
One of the biggest ways we can increase our energy, vitality and resilience is to come home to ourselves. It might feel scary, or daunting, and maybe there has been very good reason why you’ve not been connecting in with yourself. It takes courage to feel and get present.
Yet there is incredible relief, refuge and rest when we do. Coming home to yourself is one of the biggest gifts you’ll ever give to yourself, especially in times like these.
Not sure how to do any of these things, where to begin, or terrified to try? Here are some ways I can support you!
Share Your Comments & Feedback